


Until the Stars Die

by Crowley_Winchester, MetaphoricalPants



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Broken Bones, Canon Compliant, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:21:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24045826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowley_Winchester/pseuds/Crowley_Winchester, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MetaphoricalPants/pseuds/MetaphoricalPants
Summary: After the Battle of Crait, Hux and Ren had a decidedly different relationship. Whatever they once had had been driven apart by the throne. Slowly, the Supreme Leader and his general begin to see what’s left of what they once had.
Relationships: Armitage Hux & Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux & Phasma, Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 3
Kudos: 40





	Until the Stars Die

**Author's Note:**

> This was co-authored by  
> Crowley_Winchester (hornymagnets on tumblr), who wrote Armitage  
> and  
> MetaphoricalPants (princessleiadelrey on tumblr), who wrote Kylo/Ben
> 
> Enjoy!

Armitage stared down at the pad in his hand, not completely comprehending what it was exactly that he was looking at. He had received a notification, hours ago on the bridge, but hadn’t bothered to look at it. If it was something important, it would have been told to him while he was on duty. It was probably better that he hadn't seen this on the bridge. He had been demoted. The files he had been working on for the Stormtrooper program were completely gone, and he knew it wasn't merely a malfunction with his pad; he couldn't find them on the computer in his quarters either. And if that wasn't bad enough, there was a massive influx of staff on board. Not only was his position equivalent now held by a half a dozen people, all labelled under a new group called 'Supreme Council', there was someone above him beside Ren. Allegiant General Enric Pryde. It was a name that Armitage was never supposed to see again. The general, if he could even consider himself a general anymore, put the pad down on his desk with a little more force than necessary. Slowly, he leaned down, unlocking a drawer with trembling fingers to reveal a sleek black box. Hux opened it, looking at the cigarettes inside with a small frown before pulling one out, tossing the box back into the drawer. A box of cigarettes would last Armitage months; they were one of his many secrets, and only would use them in emergencies. He lit one, closing his eyes as he drew in a breath of smoke. How could this have happened? How had Ren known about him? Unless that damn Sith had been digging into his mind, finding out about how to make him unravel. Hux stood up, the hand not holding the cigarette clenched tightly into a fist. It was his own damn fault for letting Ren so close. The snivelling little brat never cared, not really. The moment he questioned Kylo, it resulted in him being choked and later beaten into unconsciousness. This wasn't going to continue, one way or another. Armitage took another drag of the cigarette, bringing his nerves to heel, before putting it out and storming out of his room, walking the path to the Supreme Leader's throne room. He didn't wait to be announced, punching in the access code before storming in. "Do you want my resignation? Is that what this is?!"

The decision hadn't been a hard one to make. Pryde had served loyally under Palpatine, and his allegiance to the rebirth of a new galactic empire was unbridled. Pryde had been charged with managing the reserves by Snoke, but upon discovering the resources and knowledge he had to offer, Kylo found his hand had already been pushed. Pryde would become Allegiant General; there was no questioning the decision once it had been made. Files had been transferred, positions had been adjusted, and Ren found himself sitting in the throne room, legs thrown over one of the arms of the seat his former leader once occupied, his holopad in his lap as he examined maps of the outer rim areas. Disinterestedly, he tapped away at the pad, leaning in occasionally when something caught his eye.

Hux had been the last thing on his mind as he supervised the changeover. He hadn't considered Hux's thoughts on the matter at all, really. As Hux stormed into the throne room, Kylo did little to acknowledge him, not even giving him the dignity of lolling his head to the side to look. “Do you plan to resign? Our resignation policy isn’t very forgiving.” Kylo hadn’t even taken into consideration the physical relationship they had developed, and somehow ignored the prickling bud of feelings that stirred during their more intimate interactions. “Does this mean you will be missing the council meeting? It will be difficult to fill your seat on such short notice.” Perhaps the new position of Supreme Leader had gone to Ren’s head the tiniest bit, a smirk growing on his face as he continued to look at the pad.

Armitage's eye twitched, seeing the Sith sprawled across the throne in such a way. No proper ruler should be that careless; if he was sitting on that throne, his posture would be immaculate. Even Snoke had had more respect. Crossing the room, Hux came to a stop, holding his fists behind his back. "I am asking, Ren, if you're trying to drive me insane. I don't give a kriff about your Supreme Council, though I would recommend changing the name to something that doesn't sound like it was created by a child!" Hux was about to take a deep breath to continue but refrained. If he annoyed the sensitive delicacies of Ren nowadays, he knew it would end in him being choked into silence, if he was lucky.

"Are you trying to teach me a lesson? Because if so, message received, Supreme Leader. I know the most recent battle with the Resistance left us...on edge. But, I know my place now." The words were meaningless, but Armitage knew how much Ren loved to pretend he was in charge by having people stroke his ego. And if saying some fancy words got it done, so be it. "You don't need to have that council, and you certainly don't need Pryde." The last word was spat out, infused with more venom than he had mustered in the entire conversation. If Ren had brought anyone in but Pryde, perhaps Hux could bear it. But he couldn't even imagine going to the stupid council meeting and seeing that man staring at him, let alone being forced to work under him for who knew how long. 

Ren shifted in the throne, swinging his lower body so he was sitting on the throne properly, his holopad hanging from his hand now as he looked at Hux with a small glint of peaked interest. "And you would've named it better, general?" He hunched forward, elbows on his knees as he looked at Hux, head angled slightly so he was almost looking down on him. Kylo hadn't thought about what the change would mean for their more intimate turns, though he probably should've considered that when he decided to demote the most headstrong priss he knew and ironically happened to be carrying on a relationship with.

"Closer." The command was simple, and they both knew if Hux did not carry out the order he could easily pull him forward. He dropped the holopad, allowing it to clatter to the ground. "Are you insinuating that I only need you?" The phrase was loaded, chosen carefully. It was unlike the emotional Sith to choose his words, but he felt a moment like this took a gentle hand to diffuse or maybe gentle abilities. He took his chance to subtly prod Hux's mind, wanting to see what had gotten him into such a tizzy. He obviously had something against Pryde that was deeper than a title.

Hux raised an eyebrow, stiffening slightly as the other sat up. It had been different between them, ever since Snoke was murdered. Once, he used to regard Ren as below him in all aspects. As their relationship changed, Armitage had come to realise Kylo had his own skillset, quite different from that of his own. But now, there was something much darker that burned in his chest as he looked up at the other. Before, Kylo never would've lifted a finger to hurt him. Now, it was a miracle if a conversation between the pair didn't end in some sort of pain on Armitage's end. "I wouldn't have named it anything at all, because I wouldn't have called it into session, Supreme Leader."

Armitage stepped forward, his eyes glancing towards the fallen holopad, a muscle on his face twitching when he heard a crack. No matter what title Ren took for himself, he still didn't have any respect for the prices of anything. "Supreme Leader," Hux started, carefully looking back up at the other. Up. Since when had he allowed this brat to look down on him? "I only wonder why you need them. Before the fall of Snoke, it had just been you and I. I don't see why that needs to change now. The council, I could perhaps understand. But Pryde? That man...could serve the Order better elsewhere." The words came out slow, forcefully calm as Armitage seethed internally. How many times had Pryde stood over him, disgust on the older man’s features as he was bleeding on the floor? Ordered him to degrade himself, for his and Brendol's amusement? How many- "Ren!" He barked, the calm shattered as he felt the all-too-familiar touch of Ren in his mind. 

Kylo seemed unphased by Hux's exclamation, smiling slightly as he was addressed. "Hm? You seemed tense, I wanted to know what you had against Pryde." He had touched enough to see that it wasn’t anything pretty, and he knew dragging out the painful memories would wreck Armitage. As much as he loved to see that man fall apart, maybe he'd hold off for now. He was sure some gentle encouragement would be enough. "You aren't close enough." 

He wasn't pleased with how little the ginger-haired general had moved. He was still too far away... Kylo barely raised a hand, using the Force to pull him over until he hit the front of the throne, positioning him between his legs. It wasn't meant to be sexual, but intimate. To show the extent to which they were entangled. He loved the strange relationship they shared and he didn't want it to end. Though a definite rift had grown between them since the transfer of power and position, he wasn’t planning on giving it up any time soon. He stroked a gloved finger over Hux's raised cheekbone, marvelling at the structure. "Have I left you feeling replaced, General? You're the only one allowed in my private chambers if that gives you any sense of confidence."

Hux sucked in a breath as he felt himself be dragged forward, clenching his jaw shut as he hit the floor. Immediately, his eyes flickered downward, not meeting Ren’s gaze as he felt the hand against his face. There was a time that, if Kylo has stroked his face, a smile would cross his face and he would’ve lightly complained about the Sith distracting him. Now, there was no affection, but anger burning in his chest. A part of him considered drawing inspiration from those rebels and biting the fingers so close to his mouth, but he wasn’t an animal.

At Ren’s words, Hux lifted his eyes, fury burning in his glare. “If you want to fuck Pryde, I wouldn’t care. Let him into your private chambers. He’ll turn on you, and you’ll regret it.” His fists, still held behind his back, trembled slightly as he fought against the Force. He wanted to stand up, slap his hand across Ren’s face. But instead, Armitage had to kneel between the Sith’s legs like a cheap whore. “I won’t feel confident until Pryde is off the damn ship. I don’t want him here, Ren. If you value anything I say, trust me. He’s playing a larger game than you realise.”

Kylo released the Force-hold on the other, giving him the option to move away but not totally. He slid his hand down Hux's cheek, moving to hold his jaw, grip tight. He wouldn't let Hux have the upper hand, not now. He almost wished that this had worked out for them both. In his mind, he had this beautiful image of him and Hux sharing the throne. Of course, the power wouldn't be equally split but he would've made a fine adviser. The two of them tangled together on the throne in various compromising positions. He had always liked the way Hux said Supreme Leader. He wondered if they'd ever find the gentle affections again, though he doubted it. 

"I can't get rid of such an asset, but perhaps I could ease your mind?" Ren offered, choosing not to address Hux's statement about fucking Pryde. The idea made his skin crawl, that man was old and suspicious. Hux was right about him having ulterior motives; he wasn't stupid. But getting rid of Pryde wasn't a risk he was willing to take. The man had seen the rise and fall of the Empire and was still around to help build the Order. Something better, stronger than what the Emperor could’ve dreamed of.

Hux shivered slightly under Ren’s grasp, but he refused to look away. He had already tried submitting once by looking down, but that clearly had done nothing but encourage Kylo. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. He had already backed down too far, letting Ren even begin to treat him like this. And it didn’t look like there was any going back. Ren had become obsessed with the power; why else would he be on his knees right now?

“What could you possibly do to ease my mind?” The words, which had been filled with anger only a moment ago, died out suddenly. The fire in Armitage’s eyes went out, and he looked away, as much as he could with Ren holding his jaw. He deserved this, didn’t he? This is what he got for letting people in. How many times has he learned this lesson? Don’t trust people, they’ll always turn on you. And now Ren had turned on him. And all he wanted was to believe the words coming out of his mouth. Wanted to trust that Kylo would somehow take care of everything, even though he knew it wouldn’t happen. Kylo was the one who brought Pryde back to begin with, and he wasn’t going to let him go any time soon.

Ren hated it when the colour drained from Hux's eyes, having always despised the way Hux could just turn off any sense of emotion and go numb. Maybe it was because he was jealous. Ren himself had never been able to hide his emotion, not even behind a mask and a vocoder. He was at his core nothing but raw unbridled emotion. But Hux. Hux could shut down, run mechanically, and he hated it. His expression shifted, lips twisting and tightening into something of a scowl as he let go. Broken toys were never fun. 

They couldn't get ride of Pryde, not with his knowledge and connections. It would be damning if they let him go. He wouldn't bend to Hux's will in that sense, but he could easily grant him some form of distraction. He was well aware he could easily use the Force to have the same effect without being as personal. "I won't let him hurt you." His voice was deep but soft, wanting it to be reaffirming. He knew that allowing Hux to know what he was aware of wasn't his brightest manoeuvre, but it was better than saying nothing.

“You. Won’t let him. Hurt me.” Armitage stared blankly before a grin started spreading across his face. A sound came out of his mouth, a strangled sort of hysterical laugh coming out of his mouth. “Does it even matter anymore? Let him. You’d do the same. At least Pryde doesn’t have any sort of magic to use against me. At least I don’t-“ Armitage shut his mouth, turning his head sharply away. At least he didn’t care. Pryde, there was something terrified inside of him that trembled at the name. But it’s all he expected from the other. He never had had any good memories with Pryde to outweigh the bad. But with Kylo...there were so many feelings that would forever taint his image of the Sith. Even now, as they stared at each other with nothing short of hatred, he could still feel it in his chest. 

“Unless there is something else, Supreme Leader, I got the answer to my question.” Armitage stood up slowly, taking a step backwards away from Ren. “Is there anything else you want from me?”

That definitely had not gone over well. Ren rolled his eyes with a heavy exhale. Perhaps Snoke was right. Entanglements were dangerous things, especially between rivals. "It's not that I want to." He wouldn't reason with him over it. Reasoning with Armitage had always been rather pointless; Ren was too overly emotional, too attached. Armitage had been the one person who had made him feel him less alone since the beginning, even in moments like this where they were so deeply at odds. He wouldn't admitit, though; how the man before him made him weak. 

"You don't have to, Ren, that's the point! When did you ever used to lay a hand on me?! Now, suddenly, I'm a rag doll for you to throw around whenever things don't go your way." The words echoed inside Armitage, deeper than Ren probably intended them to. A million memories flashed behind his eyes, reminding him of all the times his father had said the same thing. ‘I don't want to do this, Armitage, but you leave me no choice.’ ‘This hurts me more than it hurts you.’ The occasional image of Pryde between pictures of his father did nothing but add fuel to the fire. 

He didn't want him to leave but it would be even harder if he stayed. He reached out rather pathetically, unsure of what he was really going for with this and fully expecting to be swatted for attempting to initial contact. He managed to make a quick grab for Armitage's wrist, standing. "I didn't dismiss you." He let the words tumble from his mouth with little thought behind them.

The general made to turn away, leave before he got himself hurt, until a hand wrapped around his wrist. Hux froze, startled for a moment. Perhaps, the softness in himself would've convinced him to stay, if he didn't hear the words that followed. "My apologies, Supreme Leader," he muttered, snatching his wrist out of Ren's grasp before turning to face him, glaring up at the other. "I wasn't aware that I was supposed to be at your beck and call. Is this another thing that you 'don't want to do?'"

"I-..." Kylo didn't want to even try and defend himself on it. Hux was right. He hadn't been as physical before and the thought made him feel sick. He was pushing away the only person he really had, physically and emotionally. He had finally found himself on the throne he had always lusted for, but he didn't know what that meant now. For them. If there even was a them. 

Ren almost seemed disappointed when Hux pulled his wrist away. His expression gave him away; the large glassy puppy dog eyes and the slight quiver to his lower lip. He almost felt like a child being scolded for breaking a family heirloom, the rush of regretful emotion swelling in his chest and threatening to teeter over into tears. Anything close to anger had drained from him, leaving him raw and empty. He placed a hand on Hux's shoulder, dropping his forehead to the ginger's other shoulder but not putting any weight on him. He just wanted to be closer again.

Armitage didn't move, stiffening at the hand on his shoulder. He was expecting the grip to tighten and crush his bones, or perhaps throw him across the floor, but it didn't come. Instead, there was a full head of hair in his face. He kept waiting, but when the pain never came, he began to relax, albeit only slightly. This was a situation he was somewhat more used to dealing with. "Kylo." Hux didn't wrap his arms around the Sith, as he used to do, but he didn't pull away. He just stood there, letting Ren do whatever he needed to do. His eyes drifted, going from the hair on his shoulder to the empty throne in front of him. Was this truly the cause of all their recent strife? Or had it always been underneath Kylo's surface, waiting to come out? It couldn't be. He couldn't have been that wrong, failed that much at judging the other's character, right? He wasn't sure. Phasma was always better at that. Armitage let out a small sigh as she crossed his mind, glancing back to Ren. "What do you want from me?" It wasn't a question filled with anger or devoid of emotion. It was soft, but cautious. "If you...ever actually cared, I need to know. Who am I anymore to you?"

Kylo loved the way Armitage would articulate his chosen name, the syllables somehow sounding so much better coming from him. His hand slid from Armitage's shoulder after a moment, both arms finding their way around his waist. He held him tight and close to himself, almost tight enough to force his body to arch, as though he was afraid someone would take Armitage from him. He felt as though the floodgates would burst, that he would find himself crying into the starched shoulder of Hux's uniform, but he wouldn't let himself. He couldn't. Armitage's questions stung and it was enough to make Kylo realize he was holding his breath. With a shuddering exhale he cursed the wet mark of tears that already soaked into the dark fabric he had been pressing into. Articulating feelings like these were never his strong suit and the diverse range of emotions he felt towards Hux certainly didn't help. "I do care." Came his short, almost anxious response. Speaking wasn’t his strong suit, either, and the guilt and anxiety in his voice raised the pitch ever so slightly just to add on to his embarrassment. "I want you. I..." He let out a sound that sounded like an attempt to speak, unsure of where to go with this.

And just like that, Armitage's willpower broke. The tears in his shoulder had been pushing it, but hearing that he was wanted... That's all he really desired in life. To be known, and to be wanted. He wasn't supposed to be wanted. He had been told so many times that he wasn't, that he wasn't good enough, wasn't worthy enough, wasn't anything. He had to make himself be something, but deep down, the child in Hux wanted to hear something praising. Even if it was from Ren. Slowly, the man reached up, as uncomfortable as it was with Ren holding him so painfully tight, to hold the Sith, his fingers digging into the other's robes. There was a slight tremble in his hands, which Hux forced himself to ignore. "It's going to be alright, Kylo," he murmured. However, his mind would never let a moment be. Beyond telling him that this was merely a ploy (which he refuted by saying Ren couldn't act this well if his life depended on it), it reminded him of why he had come in here. This was sweet, yes, but right now, Kylo was vulnerable. If he acted now, perhaps the man would be more receptive. For a moment, Armitage's heart fell at his own thoughts. He wanted, so desperately, for this to be real. For it to be genuine, without having to fear what would come tomorrow. But he had learned his lesson. Kylo, with the title of Supreme Leader, couldn't be trusted. "I want to go to the Outer Rim. I...know that Pryde is useful to you. But I...I can't. Besides, I want to go to Parnassos." The rational, cold part of his mind let the emotion flow into his words. Not to say it wasn't genuine, but it was certainly more than the usually cold man would allow into his voice. Besides, if it wasn't evident by the tears soaking into his uniform, Ren was a sucker for emotion.

Kylo found a small exposed portion of skin and pressed his lips gently to it. A genuine token of his affection. He had missed this, gentle desperate touches that showed how deeply they needed one another to prevail in all this. He finally started to relax, muscles decompressing as he loosened his grip on Hux. His gentle reassurance had helped; it wasn't often he heard kind words, but when they were offered to him, he thrived. However, the sweet, almost blissful moment they were sharing was shattered when Hux mentioned the Outer Rim. He let go of him, moving back to stare at him with wide, scared eyes. "Are you suggesting you want to leave?" His voice was harsh, hurt, demanding. "You. You can't leave. I won't. I won't allow you to!" He was frantic, the look in his eyes wild. He couldn't lose him. He couldn't just leave like that. Like this meant nothing.

Armitage swallowed, taking a step back and shaking his head. "Ren, stop, that's not what I said!" The look in the Sith's eyes was wild, the same look that he had had when Snoke was killed. The first time the other used the Force on him, choking him into submission. Considering that that was the standard now, he didn't want to know what could happen if Ren got himself worked up again. "I need to go to Parnassos. I want...to say goodbye to Phasma." He glanced down, mouth pursed. "Besides, I feel like I made myself clear. I won't work with Pryde, I can't. And you need people out there. That's why you were looking at the maps of the Outer Rims when I came in." Hux gestured his head to the fallen pad, which still displayed the maps, albeit now cracked from the fall. "I'm not leaving the Order. You can look into my mind to know I would never leave. But... you understand, don't you?" There was a tinge of desperation in Armitage's tone. Already, the conversation had backfired; he had to salvage what little pieces he could.

"You said you want to leave." Kylo lowered his gaze, his mood darkening further. "I don't care about your allegiance to the Order, I care about your allegiance to me! If you go, we go together and you return with me." His tantrum had already begun to become childlike, from the way he spoke through clenched teeth to the amount of energy he put into his clear upset and rage. "You will stay on this ship. WITH ME." He was practically shaking with rage. How dare he?! Maybe Hux was like everyone else in Ren's life. Abandoning him over and over again as though he never meant anything. He had gone as far as to admit his feelings for Hux. To show that he wasn't using him but that he cared! "What is it that you truly want. Say it. Say it!" He would fulfill the demand if it meant Hux would stay. If it meant he wouldn't be alone again.

This was getting out of hand, and the rational part of Hux was telling him to shut up. To bend his head and apologise, say all he wanted was Kylo, and suck up to the Sith until he calmed down. But Armitage hated the words that were coming out of the other's mouth, hated them to the point where he couldn't give a damn what the most logical thing was to do in this situation. Ren, acting as if he owned him? No, no that was just too far. "You want to know what I want, Ren? I want you off of that kriffing throne!" Hux snarled, marching forward until he was in Kylo's face, the Force radiating off of the other be damned. "You can't make any right decisions. We would've already crushed the Resistance if you had only listened to me! But instead you thought it would be more fun to beat me into unconsciousness and play tag with an illusion! And maybe some part of you realised you were too stupid for the job, so instead of promoting me, you decided to demote me and make my life a living hell! Even now, you're having a kriffing tantrum because you can't stand me making a damn choice on my own! You're a pathetic little brat, and that's all you'll ever be, and all I want is for you to grow up or let me be in charge!"

Kylo scrunched his face up in rage as he stared at Hux, listening to each hateful word spill from his mouth. He had always worried about this. Wondering if Hux had always only cared about he power and never him. He had been even more suspicious after becoming Supreme Leader. The title Hux would've wanted and if he was honestly, likely the title Hux of all people deserved. "If that's what you want, take it." Without a single hesitation, Kylo extended his hand, using the force to throw Hux back into the seat of the throne. He hadn't been kind about the action in the least. He stormed up the steps of the throne, gripping the arms to lean over Armitage, looming above him. "I would've given you what you wanted, but you never wanted me."

A grunt came out of Hux's mouth as he slammed into the unforgiving throne of stone, his arms immediately wrapping around his side and his mouth clenching shut. He knew better, he knew better, and now something was definitely broken. The man tried to move back as the Sith stormed towards him, but there was nowhere he could go before Ren had him caged in. "You're full of shit, Ren. Of course I wanted you. What else would've made me stupid enough to trust you, to let you in? But instead of returning it, you beat me and hire Pryde! Stop playing the kriffing victim!" Hux moved forward, boldness overtaking him as he uncoiled an arm from around his waist to grab onto the front of the other's shirt. "I know you killed Snoke, and whatever happened with you and that scavenger has driven you mad. Don't you dare pin this on me!"

Ren regretted the action immediately, knowing he had likely injured Armitage rather severely. He would see that it was attended to later. He couldn't help the slight smile that spread across his face as Hux grabbed him. It almost reminded him of the way they once were... He had always loved when Hux became angry, passionate. He loved something about the look in his eyes, the tone of his voice.. Kylo took this as an opportunity to smash their lips together, his hand finding the back of Armitage's neck as he kissed him viciously. He couldn't remember the last time they had kissed, the sweet taste of cigarettes overwhelming his senses. He knew that meant Hux was stressed. The entire Pryde thing must have really been eating him. He pulled away, a small smirk playing on his features. 

Armitage didn't even have time to struggle, his eyes widening. He couldn't move away if he wanted to, not with the throne behind him and Kylo holding him in place. But, did he want to struggle? To keep a hair of his dignity and pride, he wanted to. Wanted to push the other back, slap him across the face, and storm down to the infirmary to see how badly his ribs were damaged. His dignity and pride, however, were long gone. Only minutes ago he had been on his knees, groveling between Ren's legs. Now at least he didn't look like such a slut. Just as Hux closed his eyes, beginning to relax, the other pulled away. Armitage's eyes narrowed as he met the others. He didn't want to think right now. Didn't want to think about the fear of Pryde on board, or the pain, both physical and mental, from what had happened to Ren recently. He just wanted to get lost with something, and he was too proud to do it in alcohol. This, however, was an acceptable substitute. Hux's grip tightened on the front of Kylo's shirt before pulling the other against him, kissing him desperately. He hated how it was starting to become unfamiliar, hated that Ren didn't seem to want him anymore. Well, for the moment at least, those fears were put to rest.

Ren had been slightly nervous that the move was too forward, that he would be rejected. He wasn't sure his fragile mental state could handle being pushed away from the only person he truly felt for. He was so relieved when Hux kissed him again, his hand finding its way into the other’s ginger hair and messing it up. He loved it when Armitage didn't look so prim and proper, when he looked a mess. Debauched, may have been a better word. No matter how far they seemed to drift or how terribly they fought, they almost always came back to this. Kylo pulled back and looked at Hux again, leaning in to kiss him softly once. Maybe it was an apology for breaking his ribs. He pressed another gentle kiss to his lip before leaving one on the corner of his mouth. "You look. Nice. On the throne." He said softly, brown eyes wide and innocent. He didn't want to fight anymore. He wanted nothing more than to curl up together in his chambers and never speak about his tantrum again. But, he knew they'd have to break soon for medical attention.

A small smile, proud, crossed Armitage's face. "Thank you." This was where he was meant to be. He was smart enough to know that this wasn't going to last, not for long, but for the moment, he could enjoy it. Feel where he should be. He could imagine what he would do, if it was his throne room in a perfect world. A throne beside him, for Ren. Guards stationed along the walls as the remaining members of the Resistance cowered at his feet. As Pryde cowered at his feet before Kylo executed him. The thought was almost enough to make him hard. But, as he reached up with his other hand to curl his finger's into the Sith's hair, Hux let out a hiss of pain, his chest snapping him out of his daydream. There was no perfect world; this was the real one. Where he was desperately kissing the man who had been crying on his shoulder before breaking his ribs. This world wasn't one where everything worked out like a daydream. "Kylo, I need to get up," Armitage murmured, pulling away and leaning back against the throne, wrapping an arm around his torso once more. He knew he looked...disheveled, to say the least. His perfectly done hair was hanging around his face, and the shoulder of his uniform was still wet with tears. But he'd have to suck it up and walk through the halls, if he wanted anything dealt with.

Kylo kissed his temple before backing off, stepping down from the throne and looking at Hux in what should’ve been his right. He looked beautiful, hair a mess, sitting atop a throne he belonged on. Maybe when this was all over, the Resistance, the war, everything, it would be his. Kylo would consider granting him as much. “Let me carry you,” he offered gently, reaching his arms out to Hux. He knew it didn’t look good for either of them if he carried the general, but he cared enough to try and help with the pain he’d caused. “If not, at least let me guide you. I can’t stabilize your injury for long, but enough to get you to the medbay.” He wouldn’t let him seem weak. He knew Hux was stronger than most, even him.

“No, absolutely not,” Hux snapped before glancing away, taking a breath. He needed to keep his cool, even if he was hurt. “I know you mean well, Kylo, but things would look questionable if you were seen carrying me through the halls. I think I’m fine enough to get there.” Armitage took a deep breath before pushing up from the throne, forcing himself into a standing position. A grimace crossed the man’s face as he wrapped a hand around his torso, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Slowly, Armitage’s free hand reached up, running through his messy hair in his best attempt to put it back in place. It failed, but at least he tried. “May I be dismissed?” The words were meant to be a mockery of Ren’s own, but the man was too tired to put enough effort behind it. Stiffly, he pushed past the Sith, his face flickering in pain down each step of the throne. It’s what he deserved for pushing his luck. He could’ve gotten out of it when Ren was crying, could’ve not tried to force the other’s hand. Instead, he ended up thrown about like a rag doll, with no actual progress made concerning Pryde, which was the whole reason he had come here. Each step didn’t fail to mock him, but Armitage managed to school his face, the pain only present in his eyes.

Kylo almost wished they could be seen in that position. It was a far off dream but normalizing a relationship between them in front of their colleagues couldn't have been such a bad thing, could it? He assumed it would've given Hux the power he wanted, to be the one romantically entangled with the Supreme Leader. Ruling together, sharing a throne in various situations. His favorite of which may have been Hux sitting on the throne while he was at his lovers feet.Surely no one would mess with someone who so explicitly his... Though he could see how it might have the opposite effect as well. "Only if we can be dismissed together." Kylo attempted to tease back, "I'll give you a head start." He hung back, watching him. Each step and wince of pain filled him with guilt, but he would shoulder it well. He knew he had hurt him and all he could do was make better on that. He would try. For Armitage. After there had been enough distance between them, he followed, trying to mind his business but unable to take his eyes off of Armitage. He wanted so desperately to help him, and he knew if he had had better schooling in the Force he could've so easily used the gifts he had hurt him with to aid his pain, even if only for a moment. But Armitage was strong, and Ren would let him carry on until he couldn't before he'd intervene.

A part of Hux wanted to turn around and snap at the other to leave him alone. He wasn't a child, he didn't need to be baby sat. But a microscopic part of him almost liked the attention. The small fact that Ren was following him, teasing him, it meant that he still cared. Maybe he just didn't mean to throw him as hard as he did. Just like he didn't mean to hurt you every other time? Armitage grit his teeth, punching the code into the doors of the throne room. The moment they opened, he straightened, the pain falling off of his face and replaced by a blank mask. He was always good at hiding his emotions, and now was no different. The general walked through the halls, slightly slower and stiffer than usual, but otherwise normally. The pain was almost agonising; all he wanted to do was curl up into a tight ball and breathe shallowly, waiting for something to help him. But that was far from prope and would just be unnecessarily dramatic. Hux walked into the elevator, pausing until Ren joined him before shutting the door. "You didn't need to follow me," he murmured, punching the codes to go to the medical floor. "But...thank you." Internally, he slapped himself for even saying the words, but he didn't take them back. As the doors opened again, Armitage made his way out of the elevator, walking up to the desk. "I fell, I need to be looked at," he muttered, to which the nurse nodded, standing up and leading him into the back.

"I want to." Kylo followed him into the medical wing, giving the nurse a look and knowing he would be allowed back with him, even if Hux didn't want the company. He didn't want to leave his side, especially considering his lie had not been very convincing at all. He wanted to hold him, soothe a hand over his likely bruised side and press kisses to his temple, to tell him of his dreams of a shared rule for them. Though, he would inevitably ruin that too, if he wasn't careful. It seemed far too domestic to fit in their sphere but he wanted that more than anything, and for the moment, he would be attached at Hux's hip. In the back of Kylo's mind, he knew Armitage had already missed the council meeting that had been scheduled. His absence would be noticed and he knew Pryde would be irritated, at the very least. Ren was aware he had done nothing but hurt Hux since had stormed into his chamber that morning. He had even put a larger target on the other's back without thinking about it. He muttered a gentle curse under his breath as he followed them back, still keeping a general distance. He'd stay out of the way, but he'd be there for his general. 

Armitage eased himself into a bed, raising an eyebrow at the black figure following behind him but not making a comment. "If you could take off your shirt please." The man didn't respond immediately, swallowing and staring at the nurse. He couldn't refuse, not logically, but the last thing he wanted to do was take off his clothes in front of Ren. With a small sigh, he did as he was asked, averting his eyes from the other as he took off his shirt. The zipper started at the top, undoing the collar, revealing the layers of bruises where Ren had choked him recently. As the zipper continued, the old scars from his childhood were hidden from the fresh bruising forming around his chest. As he continued to avoid the other's gaze, his eyes looked over to the clock hanging on the wall. That damned meeting was happening, as he pathetically sat here. "Is there any way you can finish quickly?" The nurse looked at the general with raised eyebrows before rubbing her brow with a sigh. "I can wrap your chest in some bacta bandages." She reached forward, pausing to give him a questioning gaze, to which he nodded before she ran her fingers along his side, to which he hissed. "You have a few broken bones. Nothing permanent. But I would really recommend you stay here, for a couple hours at least." "I need to go. Just give me the bandages." The nurse pursed her lips, glancing over to Ren before nodding her head. "Alright."

Ren kept to the side, staying away from them but still hovering in the room. Seeing his own handiwork made Kylo feel even worse, and he dropped his gaze to the ground. It wasn't the first time he had seen the beautiful pale expanses of Hux's chest and it also wasn't the first time he had seen it covered in deep dark bruises. Part of him wanted to leave intentional marks on him, marks that were consented upon even if Hux hated the way Ren would dig his teeth into the soft flesh of his shoulder, leaving little imprints and purple stains of ownership or something else, something akin to an emotional bond. Gentle imprints of fingers and nails, a lingering touch that burned when the other wasn't there. He was sure these marks burned as well, but in a more sinister way. Ren chose to ignore the nurse as she looked towards him, not meeting her gaze. He didn’t acknowledge her, it wasn't his place to have any say and he was sure her gaze held some form of knowing. It was obvious Armitage hadn't fallen, he'd been thrown, and the only person capable of such a thing was himself. She couldn't have been stupid enough to not know. But he knew Hux should stay in the medwing, that he was better off here and missing than showing up late. He bit his lip, unwilling to allow himself to interject. He'd go to the meeting with Hux. He could act as an excuse. A distraction, perhaps.

The nurse worked quickly and quietly, wrapping the bandages tightly around Hux’s chest. The man would flinch or wince sometimes, but also stayed quiet, his eyes down on the ground. How times had changed. It used to be that Ren couldn’t stop touching him if his shirt was off. Now,the pair couldn’t even make eye contact. “I would recommend taking it easy, and coming back here when you can. You need to rest, General.” “Duly noted,” Armitage replied, inclining his head politely to the nurse before standing up, slowly putting his shirt back on. With another glare at the clock, Hux brushed past Ren back to the elevator, slightly less stiff than how he had been before. The bacta was soothing, albeit not soothing enough to eliminate the pain entirely. He waited for the other to join him again before pressing the button, the elevator closing and taking them to the floor where the meeting was. Armitage pressed his lips together, trying to ignore the anxiety building up inside of him. He was going to see Pryde again. After so many years, so many nightmares, the man was going to be right in front of him. The doors opened, and Hux swallowed, glancing over to Ren before walking out of the elevator. There wasn’t anything the ‘Supreme Leader’ was going to do to help. He created the whole damned situation to begin with. Armitage stopped in front of the door, taking in a deep breath before punching in the code. The entrance to the conference room slid open and the general walked inside, taking the empty seat.

Ren knew enough to know that this would go sideways quite fast. He hoped no matter how twisted things were, that he and Hux could retire to his chambers later in the evening to innocently enjoy each other's company. He would even allow Millicent to come sit with them, despite his allergies and best judgement about her intentions of likely killing him one day. Maybe that was just another example of his wishful thinking. In a perfect world, he would have his gentle night of entangled limbs and soft whispers of promises that neither would be able to keep. But Armitage wasn’t the only one to realise how far away from a perfect world they were Ren's anxiety was buzzing when they entered the elevator, his hand itching to find its way onto Hux's person. His hand, his shoulder, his hip. Some kind of personal contact to allow him to center himself. But he knew he shouldn't, so he didn't, fidgeting slightly. He continued to let Armitage have the head start, allowing him to enter the conference room and get seated before he walked in, entrance dramatic as always. He stayed close to the wall, swallowing. Without a helmet on he felt exposed in front of the Council, his expressive face with childish features not lending itself to leading. He watched, not wanting to interrupt the on-going discussion even as everyone’s attention turned to him. 

Pryde didn’t acknowledge Hux’s presence, but stopped mid-sentence, raising an eyebrow as Ren entered. “Supreme Leader. It’s an honour for you to join us. Forgive me for speaking in your stead, I thought it would be better to go over some procedural things instead of cancelling the meeting. But now that you’re here...” Pryde inclined his head politely before taking his seat next to the head of the table, which happened to be directly next to Hux. Armitage, who had been looking through the notes on the pad provided to him, stiffened slightly as Pryde sat down next to him. At least the eyes from the rest of this Council were fixed more on Ren than they were on him. He swallowed, his eyes glancing down to look at the notification that popped on his pad. ‘Come see me afterwards. We need to talk. Pryde.’ Armitage glanced over at the man next to him, but he wasn’t even looking at him, his eyes instead on Ren.

Ren sighed, having hoped he would be able to get out of this. Hux did belong on the throne; he understood the ins-and-outs of the Order, from procedures to the more administrative side. Ren, on the other hand, was the least administrative person in the Order, and taking over this meeting would likely not go well. What had Hux mentioned earlier? Right, stationing people on the Outer Rim. Paranassos. Right. He remembered. "Ah, thank you, Allegiant General Pryde. As I mean to respect the time of the Council. I will be brief. We will be looking to position a fortunate few on the Outer Rim, Paranososs included. We will announce post stations by tomorrow's board meeting. Thank you. You are all dismissed." Ren was quick to exit, but waited in the hallway so he could catch Hux. He felt anxious about how that had just gone; had he spoken too quickly? Was his monotone broken by his discomfort of speaking in front of them? By now, he had started to consider what repositioning Pryde would cause. It couldn't have created that much backlash, right? He would think about it, trying to stay rather unbiased, even though he wanted Hux happy regardless of his decision.

Armitage had to hide his smile behind his blank face. Without his mask on, it was obvious how uncomfortable Ren was with public speaking. The urge to smile only increased as he realised that the words tumbling out of the other’s mouth were almost exactly what he had said earlier, besides the blatant mispronunciation of Parnassos. Before he got thrown into the throne. The urge to smile faded, even more so when everyone rose to leave. Armitage stood up, pushing in his chair and standing behind it, staring into the wall as the rest of the Council filed out. “General Hux. You were significantly late to the meeting today. Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Armitage’s eyes darted over to Pryde, who was standing at the head of the table, staring out through the window. “No, Allegiant General. I apologise, it won’t happen again.” Pryde turned around, giving a long look to the other. “Make sure it doesn’t, Armitage. I know you never were much, but don’t make me discipline you.” Hux swallowed, his lips pressing together, hiding the tremble in his hands by clasping them firmly behind his back. However, the action didn’t go unnoticed by Pryde. A small mocking smile crossed Enric’s face before he turned fully around, approaching Hux. “Don’t tell me you haven’t learned to hold yourself yet around superiors.” He slammed his hand into the table, causing Armitage to flinch, hard. “Get out of my sight, boy.” Hux nodded his head, walking out of the room as fast as he casually could, feeling Pryde’s gaze burning through the back of the skull. The moment the doors to the conference room shut, Armitage’s mask dropped, his chest heaving for breath. It didn’t help that every breath caused him pain, his broken ribs digging into his diaphragm. He walked, almost in a trance, through the halls back to his quarters, his hands shaking violently. Armitage didn’t see anything in front of him, drowning in waves of memories. Hearing Pryde, seeing him, was worse than he could’ve possibly imagined. How had it been so long, and yet he still felt like such a child?

Kylo hadn't managed to hear much of what transpired between the two men, only really picking up on a few words (discipline being the most concerning among them) and the sound of a hand hitting the table. But given their sordid past, he was free to assume the worst. Perhaps something would really have to be done about General Pryde; but first he would talk to Hux and do his best at damage control. As Hux brushed past him in the hall, Ren's brows furrowed and he reached out for him, narrowing missing his arm by a few inches. "Armitage..?" He frowned, the name falling from his mouth softly. He hadn't known exactly to what extent Pryde and Hux shared a past, but he had seen enough in Hux's mind to know that none of their encounters had been good ones. He was almost alarmed by how distraught Hux seemed. He had never seen him looking so scared in the years he'd known him. Kylo had begun to think Hux only had two distinct emotions, numb and anger, and on the rare special occasion, the slightest bit of tease. But that was it. He rather quickly followed after Hux, uncaring how bad it might look if he went sprinting down the hall after him. He had already made a fool of himself in front of the Council, and his concern for Armitage couldn't really have been any worse than that.

Armitage finally seemed to come to his senses when he stood in front of the door to his own quarters. He looked...lost. He didn’t need to look to his side to hear Ren next to him; the Sith’s breathing was memorised, not to mention he was the only one bold enough to get so close. “You can come in, if that’s what you’re looking for,” Hux murmured, not putting any bite behind the words as he punched in the passcode, trudging into his quarters. Immediately he walked over to his desk, throwing his gloves off in irritation. The bottom drawer was opened, and Hux couldn’t grab and light a cigarette fast enough. A deep breath, before a long exhale. Armitage looked at the cig in disappointment before sticking it back in his mouth. He shouldn’t be smoking, especially not in front of Ren, especially not twice in one day, but desperate times called for desperate measures. “Millicent, come here.” The general patted his leg, and the ginger cat came out from under his bed, leisurely stretching before trotting over to him, rubbing on his calf. A small smile crossed Hux’s face before he picked her up, sitting down in his desk chair and putting her in his lap. Armitage stroked her with one hand, the other taking the cigarette from his mouth and holding it loosely in his fingers. “You can sit,” he offered, gesturing either to the chair across the desk or to the bed nearby. It didn’t matter; Ren was going to sit wherever he wanted, regardless of the choices Hux gave him.

Kylo wouldn't have asked, not knowing what this mood on the general was supposed to mean, but he took Hux allowing him to enter as a good sign. He had never minded smoking, even going as far as to almost find Hux smoking attractive. The way his nimble fingers were poised to hold the cigarette, the slight curve of his spine, the still-mused look of his hair. It was intoxicating. He wished he could stand behind him and place light hands on his shoulders, gently dig his finger pads into tense flesh until the tension released. Listening, not speaking, as he tried to help the other relax, to ease his mind and calm his fears. Instead, Ren made himself at home on the bed, shifting and adjusting before finding himself in a position he didn't mind. He looked at Armitage, observing the way he moved, the way he processed. He itched, being exposed to the cat dander and fur that was present, but he wouldn't complain. It wasn't a severe reaction, it had never been more than an annoyance, and he wasn't willing to leave Armitage's side. He didn't want to break the silence, to interject in the moment they shared. His mouth usually got him in trouble, but he would try. "Perhaps.. Re-stationing him. wouldn't hurt.." He spoke softly, carefully, not wanting to cause any more pain.

Armitage looked up from Millicent, raising an eyebrow. Immediately, his thoughts began running wild. ’He cares. It wasn’t all just a game, followed by ’he wants something from you. He wasn’t willing to do it before, why is he doing it now?’ Both strands of thought agreed on one thing; ’Choose your words carefully.’ The last time he had tried to force Ren’s hand, his ribs got broken. And he wasn’t in the mood for a repeat. He had two options. Appeal to Ren as the Supreme Leader. Stroke his pride and his ego. Or, appeal to his emotional side, as a...well, whatever the hell they were. Armitage took a long draw of smoke before making up his mind. “Kylo, I can’t make you decide. You know how I feel. You know what I want. I understand if you want him here, which is why I originally requested to go to the Outer Regions. It’s your choice.”

"I don't want to be alone." Ren said almost immediately, the words tumbling from his mouth. It hadn't taken any thought at all to come to that answer. Hux was all he wanted, his only real bond, even if whatever this amorous entanglement was dissipated. In a way, Hux had Ren wrapped around his finger. He would do anything to keep the other from leaving. If that meant getting rid of Pryde, he would do so. Strategically, re-positioning Pryde could leave them at a weak point, but when had Ren actually cared about strategic maneuvers? Ren pulled off his gloves, rubbing his palms on his thighs. It was a nervous action, something to occupy his hands while his mind tried to process everything that had happened in such a short span of time. He would let Hux interpret what he had said on his own. They would handle and address all changes made in confidence in the morning.

Armitage sighed, recognising the signs that the other was uncomfortable. It was hard to believe for people that he had a heart, but have one he did, and it was a heart that adored Ren. Adored the attention, the feeling of being wanted and cared for. Even now, as his ribs still stung, he could push it off as an accident, as his own fault. If he didn’t push Kylo as far as he did, it wouldn’t have happened. He needed to control his temper better. Even now, he was making Kylo nervous. Why couldn’t he just shut up and deal with Pryde to make Ren happy? He shouldn’t be having this train of thought, the rational part of Hux’s brain knew that. Ren hurt him, he was just like Brendol; he couldn’t be trusted. Even so, the man put the cigarette in his mouth, holding Millicent against his chest with one hand and his pad in the other before sitting down next to Kylo. The cat shifted slighty, settling her head on Armitage’s lap and stretching out across the Sith’s, to which Hux smiled at before staring at his screen. A couple taps pulled up maps of the neighbouring systems. The general was quiet for a few minutes, his eyes flickering across the screen, once in a while taking the cigarette out of his mouth to exhale a stream of smoke. Finally, he nodded, satisfied, before showing it to Ren. “We need Pryde here, with the fleet,” Armitage said, pointing to the cluster of red dots on the map. “Currently, our grip on the surrounding systems is shaky. They know the Resistance is still out there; we can’t let them think we’re losing power. We need a strong military presence and a display of might, both political and otherwise. However,” Hux continued, leaning over to zoom out on the map, showing a much smaller cluster of red dots in the Outer Rim. “We need to crush the Resistance permanently. They have to be out here, close to the Uncharted Territories, or we would’ve found them already. We need a small portion of the fleet to go out and find them. And perhaps a Force user could find that scavenger.” Armitage looked up from the pad, waiting for a moment to gauge Ren’s reaction. “What I’m saying is we can go without compromising the Order. If...that’s what you want.”

Kylo relaxed as Hux day next to him, feeling less awkward. He looked down at the cat that had stretched out onto his lap, eyes focused on her for a moment as he debated petting her. While he and Millie didn’t get along well all the time, he wanted to improve their relationship. He knew she meant a lot to the ginger who meant a lot to him. He was always worried about petting too roughly. He smiled slightly as he let her with a light flat hand, looking to Armitage for approval. It was pathetic, he held one of the highest titles in the galaxy and he was looking to his General for approval. He was really smitten for this man. We. There was something about we that revived his want for a shared rule. Hux had the strategic mind and the face, and Ren knew he was better at brute force even if he didn’t want to admit it. He watched Hux, trusting, enamored. He was so damn intelligent. “I’m surprised you haven’t asked that I kill him.” Ren teased, knowing well that a few gentle cigarette kisses and praise would be enough to convince him to plunge his lightsaber into the man’s chest without a second thought. “I trust you. Tomorrow, I’ll make the announcement and you’ll dictate the order.” He mentally noted that he’d bring the helmet tomorrow so he didn’t make such a fool of himself.

Armitage nodded his head encouragingly at Kylo, smirking as Millicent lifted her head to look back at Ren before nuzzling back into his lap. “You should be honoured. She used to let no one but me pet her,” he murmured, rubbing the backs of her ears. Hux chuckled as she began to purr before taking Kylo’s hand, gently placing it over his hand petting Millie before drawing away, leaving Ren petting her head. “She likes being pet there.” Hux leaned back, taking a long draw of smoke before blowing it thoughtfully out at the ceiling. “If you don’t remember, I tried asking you that before. But you brought up a point I didn’t want to hear. He’s useful.” The man looked at his cigarette, a frown crossing his features. How different the throne made Ren. The contrast between how he was now and how he was then was striking. Almost like a completely different person. Even looking at himself, the differences were stark. From a screaming enraged general to something bordering on domestic. That throne would be the end of them, that much to Hux was obvious. But, as he glanced over to Ren and Millicent, he realised he didn’t want it to be over. He was willing to hang on to the undoubtedly brutal end, if it meant another moment like this. Of feeling close to someone, when his whole life he had felt alone. “I’ll write it out for you, but you should dictate the order. You’re the Supreme Leader; if anyone but the Allegiant General was dictating the order, it would look suspicious.”

Ren felt his chest swell with the small encouragement, even though it was only a nod. He loved having his general’s encouragement or praise of any kind. He was quite distracted by Millie though; her soft fur and purring were soothing to him, helping him to fully relax. He had never been able to get too close with her, but it was nice to know she would accept him as well. The domesticity of this felt familiar, like home, as they were falling back into old habits. "I would be more willing now." Ren said softly, having been so easily swayed by Hux's distress and the now softer moment they were sharing. It wasn't that he wouldn't have done it before, but he hadn't known the true severity of the situation. He would rather keep Hux than an old kiss ass, that should have been more clear. "Will you write it as though I did? Your speech is more. Put together than mine. They'll know someone else wrote it." Ren said softly as he gently continued to pet Millicent. He didn't want to further embarrass himself, hence asking Hux to speak, but it made sense. If they wanted to start the shift of power to sit more evenly between them, it would take time and careful planning (likely by Hux who knew what he was doing). Ren, on the other hand, would've rather gone into it head first, exactly as he had handled Pryde's rise in rank.

Armitage let a small chuckle at Kylo's request, inclining his head in agreement. "Believe me, I realised quite some time ago that your presentation skills are...lacking. I'll take care of it. Just make sure you wear your helmet next time." He knew the other's speaking patterns almost by heart. Short sentences; short enough that he would pause long enough in longer sentences that he started a new one. To the point; no fluff or anything resembling glory to the Order. And, somewhat presumptuous; Ren, whether he realised it or not, always acted like he knew better than everyone else because he could use the Force. The general picked up his pad again, leaning back until he was laying on the bed, his feet still on the floor. Millicent huffed, standing up to walk over Armitage and curl up on his chest. "Millie," he chided with no real emphasis, petting her once before directing his attention back to the pad, typing furiously. The speech wasn't going to be a hard one to write, especially compared to the ones he wrote for himself. He might as well get it done now so Kylo could have some time to look it over and not be stressed.

"That's why I asked that you do it." Kylo grumbled as he laid down, propping up on his side and using an elbow for support. Hux had always had a way with words; the way fire seemed to fill his eyes as he spoke of glory and destruction. He could inspire legions with carefully articulated speeches. Ren could barely inspire himself with his sputtering and general aggravated rants. He wasn't exceptionally good at reading written speeches either; lack of memorization and caring tended to put the actual words to the wayside as he gave brief summaries of what he'd been supplied with. Even though the intention was right and the writing said as he was supposed to, his disjointed and haughty manner of speech still did very little to inspire much of anything in anyone except annoyance and possibly unease. Ren moved closer to Hux, hand reaching out to pet Millicent again now that she had perched on his chest. He longed to find himself in more familiar and intimate positions, his face in the other's neck, arms encircling a waist loosely to avoid aggravating already tender wounds... But with the strange looming tension that hung above them, that level of familiarity seemed to push the boundaries of what he felt he was able in the moment.

Hux glanced around his pad, raising an eyebrow as Ren began petting Millie again, before looking back at the speech, continuing to type. It was going to be short, to the point; not that Kylo would be able to handle much more than that. Armitage even managed to avoid the desire to use long words and dramatic phrasing, as was his own signature. A small sigh escaped his lips as he stopped typing. The voice in his head could barely contain its laughter. ’Look at you. Laying on your bed with broken ribs and a cat, writing a speech for an idiot. Look at all you’ve managed to accomplish by pairing with that Sith.’ “Here, I’m done. Change what you want,” Hux finally said, handing the pad over to the other before beginning to pet Millie, letting his mind wander. That’s why he had originally allowed Ren close to him, after all. The moment he met the Sith, he knew he was going somewhere. Hux was never one to get left behind. It had changed so much since then, infinitely more complicated. Emotions made everything complicated. “I’m going to go back to the medbay. Let them change my bandages,” he murmured, sitting up and putting Millicent on the bed, rubbing her head when she whined in protest.

Kylo watched him intently, every tap of the pad by nimble fingers or the little twitches of his lips as though they were trying to speak the words into existence. He took the pad and frowned as he looked at it, eyes scanning the words quickly without actually reading them. He didn't want to worry about formalities now. He placed the pad on the corner of the desk, "Looks fine. Thank you." Perhaps he'd actually look over it later, if he bothered to at all. Ren wasn't sure if he should follow or stay put. He could've also alternatively offered to do it for him, but his hands weren't as coordinated as a nurse's or a med-driod's. and he was nearly positive Armitage would shoot that idea down before he could even fully attempt to articulate it. He chose to avoid the conversation completely as he set up, leaning over to press a kiss to the corner of Hux's mouth. It was sudden, too familiar, sloppy, and likely downright awful but, it was enough to signal his acceptance of the other leaving. At least momentarily.

Hux paused at the kiss, tensing slightly. “Kylo...” He was rarely a man who lacked something to say, but now, the words were completely lost on him. What could he say to Ren that could possibly begin to explain how he felt in that moment? The anger, the confusion, the sorrow. “I won’t be long, if you’re willing to wait,” Armitage murmured before quickly darting from the room. He hated sounding so...needy. But he didn’t know what else to do. It was better not to think about it and just focus on getting to the medbay.

"I'll... wait then." Ren did his best to stay in his place on the bed as he watched Armitage start to leave. He dropped his eyes to Millicent, trying to focus on something else. Anything else. He knew if he followed, it would look bad. Like he was a lost puppy who needed guidance and assurance. A title like Supreme Leader shouldn't belong to someone who followed his general around like he was clueless. His presence wasn't needed in the medbay, nor did Hux want him looming again, he was sure. He picked at the bedding, fingers finding a loose thread to worry as he waited. Ren felt like a child. In trouble and alone. Left to wait for someone to return and soothe him, his nerves frayed and guilt gnawing at him. It didn't take him long before he stood up quickly in his familiar dramatic fashion, fully considering following him to the medbay. He didn't allow himself to get far though as he found his place back on Hux's bed, letting out a small noise of frustration. This was far more difficult than anticipated.

The nurse looked up from the desk, unimpressed, as Hux walked back into the medbay. “You’re looking a little better. You feelin’ alright?” “Fine,” he murmured, following her back into the private room. He sat down on the edge of the bed, taking off his shirt before she could ask. “You know,” the nurse started, unwinding the bandages around the general’s chest. “He’s going to keep on hurting you.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I told you, I fell.” “I don’t know who you think you’re fooling,” she muttered, shaking her head as she began winding the new set of bacta bandages around his torso. “I saw how you were looking at him. How he was breathing down your neck, making sure you weren’t gonna say anything. He’s not here; you don’t need to protect him.” Armitage shook his head, not saying anything as she finished. Why was he protecting Ren? He should be doing everything in his power to bring that man down, off of that throne and under heel, where he belonged. And yet... “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Hux stood up quickly, putting his shirt back on. “I would recommend you don’t speak about our Supreme Leader like that in the future.” “General-“ “Good day, ma’am.” And with that, Armitage marched out of the medbay, the bacta seeping into his skin and numbing the worst of the pain. He didn’t have time to be worrying about his relationship with Ren, but it kept popping up. It wasn’t something that he could keep pushing off; Ren wasn’t going anywhere, which Armitage was only blatantly reminded of as he walked back into his quarters. “You look worried,” he said dryly, raising his eyebrows. “Did you think I was going to die there?”

It wasn’t that Ren was worried Armitage would tell anyone he hurt him. It was obviously his fault. He had dragged Hux across the floor, choked him, thrown him, forced him to kneel and bow in awkward positions with the wave of a skilled hand. He had done it in the throne room just as he had done it on the bridge and in the conference room in front of the Council. Everyone had to have known by now. But that didn’t excuse any of his actions. That didn’t mean any of it was alright. from the demeaning words to the physical responses. It also further complicated their romantic entanglements. Ren knew it was even worse when you hurt your beloved.. Not that he loved Hux! No... No. He couldn’t. Love. Him. But he cared enough about him for the violent physical interactions to be of concern. Hands that acted on their own volition paired with volatile anger, so easily sparked by any wrong step. Was it really his fault? Yes, it had to be. He couldn’t keep excusing his actions. By the time Hux returned, he had pulled the loose string from the duvet completely, causing it to bunch. He looked at it and frowned, trying to smooth it out, knowing Hux would likely see the imperfection he had created. “Worried?” Ren looked at him, eyes large, showing his oh so obvious guilt, “No, I-... I didn’t. Think that.” He flushed, looking down at the scrunched fabric again.

Armitage’s eyes immediately zoned in on the fabric of the duvet. What had once been permanently smooth was now going to be permanently ruined. Scarred by Ren. At least him and his duvet had something in common. The thought was absurd enough that a flicker of amusement flashed across the man’s face before he noticed his little ball of fur was no longer on the bed. Hux almost called out to her, but stopped when he looked at Ren’s face. That much guilt...he wouldn’t be surprised if it turned into anger sooner than later. He wouldn’t be surprised about anything nowadays. And there was no way he was going to let her anywhere near a volatile Sith. With a quick grimace, Armitage sat down next to Ren on the bed, his arm automatically moving to wind around his chest before the man forced it down. His ribs were still sore, but the bacta was doing its job. “A part of me was wondering if you were going to be here at all when I came back,” the general murmured, his eyes on the floor. “It’s only a matter of time before you go back to your usual self. The Kylo I knew...he doesn’t come out for long anymore.”

"It's. I... You can fix it." Ren said quickly, grabbing further up the fabric and pulling gently so the tension released. It looked almost normal again, smooth and soft, save for a tiny hole from the violent removal of the thread. His shoulders slumped as he turned away from the making of his worries. He couldn't keep his hands to himself; he couldn't ever create or fix, only breaking things apart. Kylo himself hadn't even noticed Millicent's absence, his attention having been so internally faced as he reanalyzed every action, every moment sprung to mind about Hux. The general's statement concerned him because he had a good point. Kylo had been more emotionally charged as of late. Complex feelings and bruised skin, the love he couldn't express or share without an aching chest and guilt of mind and conscience. He couldn't confess any sort of love, or give any promise of something better. Something greater than this. Was it the throne or failure that caused this? He couldn't draw any solid cause for his behavior, his actions. He was just a mess of raw nerves and sparks ready to burst into uncontrollable flames. The Kylo he knew was conflicted, split down the middle and pulled in so many ways. One might think he had a softer touch, a lighter hand, controlled and reigned in emotions... But really he was just the same, slowly becoming more afraid and volatile. More violent and controlling. Closer to what he thought was darkness but he couldn't have been so sure. "I want to be around you." He spoke softly, lips drawn in as he tried to sound articulate. "I still want you."

“Do you want me? You don’t even know me, not really.” Hux just shook his head, his fingers itching for a cigarette to soothe his anxiety. He could, if he really wanted to, show Ren who he was. Not just snippets of memories he couldn’t control, not just whispered regrets late at night. He could show the Sith everything. But how long would that last? Ren would only use it to hurt him. Armitage never shared anything about himself for a reason, and Ren was perfect kriffing proof of that. There was only one person who he had trusted, truly trusted, and she was dead thanks to the rebels. The general’s shoulders slumped, a hand running through his already disheveled hair. “You’re not going to change, Ren. Not back to what you were. You became the Supreme Leader the kriffing minute you choked my approval out of me.” The words weren’t said with anger, Armitage too tired to do anything but look at his hands. “I can’t keep doing this. I won’t. We’re done.”

"I do! I-..." Ren stared at him, eyes conveying every shade of hurt he could muster. He knew he had done wrong but he was trying. Only moments ago they were petting Millicent and laying together in a nod so close to domesticity. It had been so peaceful and enjoyable and in the short walk down the hall and back everything had shifted. The hope that Ren had felt as he waited for Hux to return was gone now, and left in its place were the same unhappy sways of volatile emotions he had felt in the throne room. The hope of that room being shared now dashed, impossible, stupid. Anger bubbled over in his chest as he felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes. He tried to will them away, to will away the rage that threatened to spill over. He knew it was radiating off of him, the hurt, the upset. Done? Done? This was over? What even really was this? Was it anything, really? This was why Snoke had warned him against romantic entanglements. This was why he had been warned against Hux. He had tried to express the love he felt for him and had been left with nothing. No lover, no feelings, only rage. "It's over then,” he affirmed, the tiniest of quivers in his voice. Ren stood, withholding his emotions as best he could to not have a second outburst of rage. He didn't want to hurt Hux. He wanted to scream and unload the feelings of rejection into the nearest solid object that wasn't Hux. Love was a foolish thing and he didn't need it. He would try and convince himself of that and fail miserably. He looked at Hux, a tear streaking his face as he sucked his teeth, breathing heavy but silent as he tried to hold his tongue. He was quick to throw the door open with an outstretched palm, leaving in a dramatic flourish and slamming the door behind him. There was no reason to fight. Hux was immovable to him, with a mind that rarely changed. Kylo would find solace in destruction and tomorrow's announcement would be delayed. Indefinitely. 

Hux tensed, fists clenched, waiting for the Force to wrap around his throat, to throw him into something. He could feel it being gathered around the Sith, could feel the rage burning in the air around him. But the pain never came. Ren was gone. Armitage sat there for a moment, stunned. Everything he had just said, about Ren having changed for the worst, had just gotten thrown out the window. He hadn’t hurt him. He hadn’t hurt him. The general reached for his pad, fingers typing without him realising what he was doing. Explaining his situation, asking for advice, for her to come over- Armitage stopped the moment he was about to hit send, the name ‘Phasma’ shining back up at him. He dropped the pad, backing away as if he had been burnt. She was gone. She was gone, and she was never coming back. And Ren was gone. Maybe not in the same way, but he wasn’t going to come back, not like he was. All that was left was his cat. “Millie? You can come out now, he’s gone,” he called, forcing his eyes away from the pad. Hux frowned, Millicent nowhere in sight. “Millie? Millie, where are you?” A faint meowing came from the closet, and Armitage rolled his eyes, walking over and opening the door. “I don’t know how you manage to get yourself in there. Silly girl,” he chided, scooping her up against his chest before he saw what it was she had been laying on. An unassuming wooden box, noticeable because it was the only not-standard object in Hux’s entire quarters.The man felt his heart sink, even as he knelt down in front of the crate. He hadn’t opened it, not since it was given to him. The cleaning droids had put all of Phasma’s personal belongings in here when they had cleaned out her quarters. They were going to burn it, but Armitage had managed to grab it. And now here it was. With trembling fingers, the man pushed open the lid. On the top was a set of her armour; of course. He gingerly pulled each piece out, putting it on the floor beside him. Then, there was a pile of awards. As Hux shifted through them, he realised that not only were they her medals, but his own. He always threw them away, complaining to Phasma that it was a waste of time and resources from the Order to make medals, and he wasn’t so full of himself as to keep them. But she kept them. Then, he noticed a stack of papers clipped together, face down.

No, not papers. Pictures, with little notes on the back explaining them. Pictures of her when she first joined the Order, next to him and his father, with ‘new life’ written. Pictures of all his speeches, with her next to him. First day of the trooper training program. First night, when they both got completely wasted, which was a picture of both of them looking into the camera, grinning drunkenly. Lots of pictures getting drunk. Then, the first picture of a speech with both her and Ren behind him. On the back, she had written ‘New guy is an idiot. Hope I don’t have to deal with him for long.’ Armitage couldn’t help the laugh that came out of his mouth, continuing to flip through the pictures. Memories of her with other soldiers, of them and Mitaka. The last few pictures, however, gave Hux pause. A picture of him, a little tipsy, staring dreamily at Ren, who was passed out on the floor. ‘About time he kriffing smiled.’ A picture of his speech on Starkiller. ‘His best achievement. He’d never forgive me if he knew.’ And a sketch of him, designing a suit of armour similar to her own. ‘He needs to stay safe.’ Armitage thumbed back through, picking out the picture of him and Ren before clipping the rest back together. He stared at them, not realising he was crying until he wiped the tears from his face. What would she have said, if she could see him now? Would she tell him to try and get back to that? Where he was stupidly in love, before all of the pain? Would she say Ren was too dangerous, that to ‘stay safe’ he needed to run away? Armitage didn’t know. The man tried to take a deep breath, putting down the pictures and grabbing Phasma’s cape, wrapping it around himself as his body wracked with silent sobs. He wasn’t strong enough to do this alone. Millicent bumped her head against his leg, and Armitage pulled her into his chest, crying into her fur. What had he done?

For a moment in his flourish of anger as he stormed down the hall, Kylo stopped and turned on his heel, looking back at the door he had just exited. At the room in which he had been burned. Rejected. Wounded. His love meant nothing. His devotion. His willingness to release his grasp and share a throne he had earned! He stared at the door, breathing, watching, knowing Hux wouldn't follow. He wouldn't care. How could he? He was right in saying they didn't know one another. In the early nights of their relationship spent holding one another in strange union, whispering moments of their past, fears, conflicts, maybe then they knew each other. But now those moments seemed to be forgotten. Nonexistent. His lip twitched, tears now dried up and replaced with blind rage that blurred his vision and made him feel hot. Burning. He turned on his heel again, now facing the wall as he seethed. It wasn't an exterior wall, making it a prime target for the objects of his heartbreak. Usually a tense moment like this would result in the igniting of his saber, the cracked and burning red kyber crystal reflecting his internal turmoil. But now he was too volatile, too emotional to even think of pulling his saber from its holster as his bare fist made contact with metal. His gloves had been discarded in Hux's chambers, now forgotten and likely not to be returned. His expression didn't change with the next attack of fist on metal, a sound of frustration escaping him. Loud. Guttural. Animalistic... He would repeat this until his fists were bloody, skin raw as the sound of flesh pounding metal echoed now the hall. With each strike came another sound until his voice cracked, sounding childish, broken. A sob escaped his lips as he kicked the wall instead, bracing himself against it with his arms, numb and shaking. If anyone were to enter the hall it was over for them. They would be a casualty of his rage and the new found sense of loneliness he so wished to reject but couldn't.

As Hux continued to cry, his eyes shut tight in Millicent, he heard a faint thudding sound, over and over, sometimes accompanied by a bellow. Ren. Of course it was Ren. It was always about him. No matter what the situation, Ren was always the kriffing victim. Armitage let go of Millicent and stood up, the flare of pain only adding to his anger. He had had it. He had absolutely had it. The general marched over to the door, but stopped, the door not opening automatically. He waved his hand in front of the sensor, but the door didn’t move. What could’ve happened, it was- When Ren forced the sliding door shut. Bastard probably broke it. “Damn it!”Hux snapped, kicking the door once before storming back into his quarters. He pulled his toolkit out of his desk, muttering obscenities as he took it back to the control panel of the door. Of course this had to happen. Of course Ren had to trap him in his room while he had a temper tantrum outside. Of course not a single thing could work out correctly in his life. After burning his finger, the doors slammed open, and Hux marched out into the hallway, pulling the blaster from his hip and shooting it into the wall above the Sith to get his attention. “SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Hux screamed, fury burning in his eyes. “What is wrong with you that you can never shut up? Nobody needs to hear you break every bone in your kriffing hand in the hallway. Some people ARE TRYING TO SLEEP! This is a RESIDENTIAL HALL, REN!”

Ren pressed his head against the warped metal as he let sobs wrack his body. He shook gently as he placed his hands on the metal, trying to stabilize himself as he sobbed. He felt empty, alone, scared. He didn’t want to continue without Hux as a lover. But he would push on eventually, he told himself. Not before an intense mourning period. That was until he was startled from his thoughts by a blast. Kylo turned to face Hux, shoulders shrugged inward and face sullen. When he looked at Hux, he tried to hide his emotions, to hold back the tears that had begun to run down his cheeks. His hands were shaking, blood dripping onto the floor as he clenched his hands into fists, ready to snap at any moment. That was until he noticed the redness around Hux’s eyes, the matching stains on his cheeks from tears... “You weren’t trying to sleep, you were crying.” He said gently, voice low. It wasn’t hard to see that he had been crying. He took a step forward, extending a hand towards him, but dropping it. He was afraid of falling in the sights of the blaster. “Armitage..”

Hux narrowed his eyes, not replying to the other as he glanced around the hallway, still holding his blaster. No one seemed to have any inclination to come out of their rooms any time soon, not after that. Better for him, he supposed. He didn't want to have to explain this conversation to anyone. "Who gives a damn if I was crying? I at least had the basic decency to do it quietly and in my own quarters. I'm not an animal." The general looked past Ren, eyeing the blood-covered dents and the blaster shot unhappily. He shouldn't have done that, but it wasn't like Ren was going to hear him any other way. The financial cost could be dealt with later. Armitage put the blaster back in its holster, grabbing his toolkit before crouching in front of the control panel outside of his room. The door was now forced open, and wasn't going to be closing without some more wire crossing. It quickly became obvious that there wasn't anything he could do about it. He needed new gears; it was a miracle that it had even opened for him at all. "You broke my door and the wall, is there anything else you're looking to destroy before you leave?"

“I care,” Ren said solidly, staring at him. He cared that he had been crying; it obviously meant something was seriously wrong. Hux was never one to show emotion aside from anger, perhaps Ren had been wrong about him. Maybe he did care. It was a good sign. If Hux cared enough to cry over him, maybe this could be fixed. He wouldn’t get his hopes up, but he would try. Maybe he could lighten the mood. He dropped his gaze when he realized he had been staring at him quite intently. No matter the occasion he enjoyed sharing a space with Hux. “You.” Kylo teased darkly, his voice light, and a smile pulling at his lips. There was something about Armitage that would always pull him back. Maybe it was his temper or his determination. His natural sense of leadership and command... His ginger hair and rather pale complexion. “I’m. Sorry about the door.”

“Ren,” Hux sighed, standing up and shutting the console door. “I can’t...” I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep getting broken. I can’t keep feeling this way about you. I can’t get myself killed over you. “I can’t have you bleeding all over the kriffing hallway. I’ve got some bacta in the bathroom,” he muttered, gesturing for the Sith to follow him back into his room. Hux scowled at the control panel, smacking it, before the door slammed shut. “Come on.” Armitage paused for a moment when he realised everything from Phasma’s box was still laid across the floor, her armour glinting obviously from his open closet. “Don’t touch anything.” He didn’t look particularly enthusiastic as he led Ren into the bathroom, opening the cabinet and pulling out his first aid kit. He gestured for the man to sit down on the toilet before pulling out a bacta lotion. “I’d appreciate you not doing this to yourself, Supreme Leader,” he murmured, scooping some of the lotion into his hand before beginning to rub it into the wounds.

Ren was quick to accept this as another good sign. He wasn't rejecting him, he was inviting him in. Maybe things could be salvaged, just like his mutilated hands. The damage wasn't too bad, wounds not deep enough to cause any real lasting damage. He'd managed to slice open his knuckles on the raw edge of the metal, creating the bloody mess. Most of the other damage was internal, bruising and compounding fractures that didn't seem to bother him at all. Looking over the remnants of Phasma's belongings made his chest ache. He hadn't thought about Phasma in a while, not since her untimely demise. The three of them had been decent friends when things were still new. Better. Of course, she was always closer to Armitage but he had managed to slip into the group with relative ease... Her death had been easily glossed over, a forgotten causality among the many they faced. It was unfair. Cruel... Perhaps it was the nature of the Order. He wouldn't have touched anything without permission, knowing how much it likely meant to Hux. He wouldn't dare, knowing it was what was left of her. The last of any remnant. He allowed himself to be led into the bathroom, seating himself as he looked at Hux. "Please don't address me that way when seated in the 'fresher." He muttered softly, extending his injured hand. "Thank you... You didn't have to.."

Hux had to resist the urge to smirk at that statement, instead giving a hum. He was...conflicted. It was barely more than a few minutes ago that he had managed to get the will to end it with Ren. And now, he was back. What the fuck just happened? “I wasn’t in the mood to field the questions of what had happened to you, if anyone else saw your hands,” he replied, taking the injured hand and carefully spreading the bacta gel. Externally, the wounds didn’t seem to be terrible, but Hux wasn’t a fool. There was no way Ren had punched the wall hard enough to dent it without also breaking the bones of his hand. “You should go to the medbay. See if they can give you proper bandages.” The general pulled away, surveying his work before giving it a nod of approval, washing his hands and sealing the jar of bacta. Armitage dried his hands before walking out of the fresher, kneeling in front of the crate. Slowly, he put the pile of medals back, her pieces of armour, the design for his own suit of armour. But he couldn’t part with the cape or the pictures just yet. With a sigh, he stood up, holding the pictures awkwardly. “You can look through them. If you want.”

"I did not know you were in charge of my well being." Kylo replied as he watched him, trying to memorize the gentle feeling of Hux's hands over his own. So soft and familiar. When things had been innocent, hidden from any sort of darkness, there had been fleeting moments in which their hands had intertwined. Late nights on the bridge and the occasional brush when passing by. The idea of Hux fielding questions about his wounds was comical, partner-like... "Later." He would go to the medbay, just not now, not wanting to interrupt a tender moment. There was still something almost domestic about the way Armitage had jumped to care for him, despite everything. He wanted to normalize such a simple and genuine action. Something that showed that he cared. Even if it wasn't outright expressed, the gentle feeling of fingers and gel being worked into abused flesh was enough. Kylo walked from the fresher and over to where Armitage was kneeling. He looked at the photos and then at his hands, placing the freshly gelled one at his side so as to not spread any of the healing gel onto the photographs. He carefully took them with his clean hand, looking over them slowly, as best he could. They were from better times... Maybe pictured in these photographs were of the Kylo that Armitage had mentioned. Not (exactly) the one that stood in front of him. He couldn't help the awkward smile tugging at one corner of his lips as he found the one of Hux staring at him. So it was that Kylo after all.

Hux shifted for a second before turning back around, pushing the box to the back of his closet before shutting the doors. Not wanting to disturb Ren, he grabbed his pad, shifting through it to see when exactly he was due back on the bridge. It had to be sooner than later at this point, he should probably try to sleep and- Hux’s brow furrowed in confusion before his eyes widened. Three cycles was his next shift. With the new influx of staff at his level, and the work divided evenly between them, it wouldn’t be for another three cycles until he had to report to duty. He usually worked two shifts a cycle, at least. “You really kriffed up the schedule, you know,” Armitage muttered, putting the pad back on his desk before he noticed the picture Ren was looking at. His face flushed for a moment. “I was drunk,” he offered lamely, embarrassed. Hux reaches forward, gently taking the pictures from the Sith’s hand and placing them on his desk. And now what? He had just made it clear he was done with Kylo; it was over. Yet, minutes afterward, he was spreading bacta gel on his hands. It was too easy to separate the good from the bad. Kylo from the Supreme Leader. Now, the moment was undeniably Kylo, but how long was that going to last? Should he still force him out? Or should he let him stay, no matter how much he might regret it in the future? After a moment of thinking, Armitage made up his mind. The general walked across the room, crouching in front of the shelf Millicent was sprawled across, sliding it open. Inside was a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, which he grabbed before sitting on the floor with a sigh. “You want a drink?”

Ren retook his seat upon the bed as he turned the photograph over, reading Phasma's writing. Could he really make him smile like that? He wanted to make Hux smile like that. He did. He knew there was a time he could, it was obvious from the photo. He looked at Hux and then back at the photo, comparing. "What? Don’t want more time for yourself?" He pouted as the picture was taken from him, having only just noticed the writing on the back. Maybe the openness of his schedule was a little more selfish than he wanted to let on. If Hux wasn't as busy, they had more time for one another and he wasn't likely to get rejected if they were in private quarters.. Ren smiled at the offering of alcohol, recalling the first of many interactions that carried them to their current state of unknown. Alcohol was truly the best social lubricant, having subsequently caused the first exclamation of interest between them. Kylo, fresh to the Order, drunk and disheveled, excited to be in Hux's presence, had been quick to tell the other he was beautiful. And then take it back, curse and attempt to exit. He gave short chuckle at the memory before giving a nod, "Please."

Armitage sighed, shaking his head as he poured out two shot glasses. “What about me working double shifts most days makes you think I like having time to myself? I don’t like wasting my time. If I want to continue advancing, I need to be productive. How do you think I’m already a general?” Well, he didn’t know how much longer he was going to be that. He already was stripped of his trooper program, and the Supreme Council has stripped him of any autonomy. Hux’s mouth twisted, offering the glass to Ren before quickly downing his own. The familiar burn of alcohol down his throat felt better than he was willing to admit. Armitage nearly let out a laugh; look how full circle the pair had come. He remembered so clearly when Ren had invited himself to sit with him and Phasma. How the other was already clearly wasted, and proceeded to confess his attraction to the ginger. Hux has been so surprised he hadn’t even replied, staring blankly at the Sith as he drunkenly shuffled away, before Phasma had punched him in the shoulder and told him to ‘get his ass moving.’ That night had been a messy one. However, Hux doubted tonight was going to end that way. Or, if it was, it certainly wasn’t going to be anything pretty. It would either be rough, violent, a mirror of how their relationship had been recently. Or it would be pathetic, full of whispered apologies that meant nothing and ending in tears when both thought the other was asleep. Armitage drained his second shot at that thought. “Millicent? Come here,” he called, drumming his fingers on the floor. The cat peered down at him on the floor from her perch on the cabinet, stretching before jumping into his lap, ignoring the slight grunt of surprise. Armitage began raking his fingers through her fur, smiling as she began to purr. “When you used to stay here, there’d be times when I would go to the fresher to get ready for my shift before you woke up. And every time when I came out, she’d always be sleeping on you. Your back, your chest. One time, it was your head.” He smiled softly at the memory, not looking up at Kylo. There was a slight bitterness to the memory, anyways; when was the last time Ren had bothered to stay with him? Or even invited him to his quarters? The Sith being here was a miracle, compared to their current status quo.

Ren had wanted more time together, ever selfishly, but he knew what Armitage would've wanted. An advancement. A post above what he had been stuck with. What could he really offer the general? An aid. A second hand. But Armitage wasn't deserving of a demeaning position at Ren's side. He should have been an equal. "We can discuss advancement." Armitage would have to be the one to strategically plan the move. Ren would've simply announced the new position, killed or threatened anyone who opposed his decision and moved on. Armitage likely knew better than to let him do so. He took the glass, eyeing it for a moment before downing it's contents. It had been a while since he drank. He only really drank with Hux and-... Well. Phasma. He had at one time considered himself part of the trio, but they were never really a trio. Hux and Phasma were close and Ren was just a lovesick puppy who wanted the ginger's full attention. Now look where that had gotten both of them... Kylo couldn't remember the last time he had actually spent the night in Hux's quarters, and he was even more unclear on the last time he had allowed Hux in his. If it had been any time in recent memory, he had left once they had finished with one another, having been occupied by his title rather than emotions. He felt guilty for a moment, thinking of how Hux must've felt. Alone. Used. Abandoned. Was he only using him? He felt for him, there was no way he was using only him…

Hux glanced over at Ren for a moment, almost hopeful, before looking away, the expression immediately hiding behind a blank mask. "No, don't bother." The words rolled around in the general's head. 'Discuss advancement?' As if it was questionable whether or not he even deserved it? It was clear that Ren didn't think he actually did, or else he would've given him the position initially. No, he was merely attempting to goad him into continuing the relationship. Continuing to fuck him while making empty promises about positions. That's what their relationship had been all this time, hadn't it? Armitage almost felt sick at the thought, his fingers shaking slightly as he poured himself another shot. He knew he was going too fast, that he needed to slow down if he didn't want to get piss drunk in front of Ren, but he didn't care enough to stop himself. Why, why did it always have to be this way? Why couldn't the universe, the Force or whatever he was supposed to call it, give him a damn break? Give him something real, that he could hold onto?

The shot went down, a warm fuzzy feeling replacing the burn of the last two. Maybe it was all revenge, karma, for him pulling that blaster on Ren. The memory was crystal clear. He walked into the throne room, ready to report that the handful of remaining Resistance fighters had fled to the planet's surface. But instead of the Supreme Leader on the throne, he found Snoke in two halves on the floor, Kylo not far from him. Armitage had walked forward, almost in a dream, believing his lover to have been killed. But, Ren was still alive. He had stared for a moment, debating what to do. Why did he even debate? He should have rushed over, woken Kylo up, made sure he was alright, asked what happened. But all he could think was that the scavenger was gone. All he could think of was how Ren had looked at her when she arrived, his eyes full in a way he never seemed to have when looking at Hux. How there was no way she had managed to overpower the guards and Ren and Snoke. That she had to have help. That what he was looking at wasn't the unconscious body of Kylo, but the unconscious body of a traitor to the Order. He couldn't even remember pulling the blaster; the next thing he remembered was putting it back as Ren woke up. Maybe this is what he deserved. He could sit here all day, whining about how unfairly he was treated, but when it came down to it, Ren was only hurting him, and he had tried to kill the Sith. The blank mask was beginning to slip as the alcohol began to course through him; Armitage always had been a lightweight. And now, hiding behind the perfectly passive expression was a face that looked completely miserable as it stared into the next glass of alcohol.

Kylo frowned, had he said something wrong? He had meant what he said about advancement; the structure change was never about demoting Hux and more about promoting Pryde, though he could see the correlation now. He wanted to reach out and touch him, to reassure him, to do anything right for once. He was never technical enough for these discussions, never methodical; he was impulsive and explosive. He tried to choose the words with care, treading lightly. He wouldn't force Hux to accept, nor would he make any unwanted advances. He would sit with his hands to himself as he attempted to explain his reasoning. "I-... I meant. Discuss a plan. An exchange. We could be. Equal." He frowned to himself, staring at his lap as he put his glass aside. He had to ruin everything. It was his signature. Ren looked over at him, trying his best to stay out Hux's mind, but sometimes the reaches of his own began to drift. In another life, he knew things were getting out of hand when reading minds became automatic. He was able to see the edges of the memory, the throne room, the blaster... Things Ren hadn't considered since it occurred, despite the obvious signs that in that moment Hux had at the very least considered killing him. That couldn't have truly been much different than the numerous times Ren had choked him, drug him across the ground, thrown him like a rag doll... He could feel how miserable he was as if it radiated from Hux, permeating the air and making the guilt eat at Ren even more. He would keep his hands to himself. He wouldn't reach over. He wouldn't grab his hand or tenderly touch his arm. These were luxuries he could no longer afford with the other. He wouldn't push for a relationship that wasn't expressed as wanted, to save his own feelings if nothing else. He chewed his lip as he looked away, thinking of things that couldn't be said. He kept quiet, not pointing out Hux's current state as it accelerated towards drunkenness. Not admitting that he was the one who had caused a considerable amount of the pain Armitage felt.

Hux raised his eyebrows at the other, looking at Ren for a moment before he snorted. “Are you even kriffing listening to yourself? Do you really think, for even a second, we’ll ever be able to be equals?” The man shook his head, chuckling to himself as he poured another glass. At least his fingers had stopped shaking, but Hux couldn’t tell if that was because of him calming down or the amount of alcohol in him. Probably the second. “You don’t even want me to be your equal. You never did. It’s why you fucking promoted everyone around me! Why did you let them take my program? What do I even do here anymore? Get my arse kicked, take care of a cat, and watch people work once every three cycles?!” The laughing turned almost hysterical, Armitage leaning back and staring up at the ceiling, his entire body shaking with the effort. In the back of his mind, he knew he shouldn’t have laid his hand out so openly. But he was too inebriated to give a damn. The fourth glass slid down Armitage’s throat, which didn’t help how flushed his usually-pale cheeks had already become. But was he going to be left alone, basking in the warmth the alcohol gave him? Of course not. Even in his drunken state, he could still feel Ren’s presence in his mind; not as acutely or painfully as he normally did, but there nonetheless. “Equals you say. But the moment you can, you go digging through my head, not trusting a word that comes out of my mouth. Just like you did with that scavenger girl.”

Something clicked inside Armitage at that, and he clutched Millicent a little tighter. “You know, she’s the one to blame for everything. Ever since I had to drag you out of the snow where she left you, you changed. And whatever happened in that throne room broke you.” Hux shook his head, laughing, pouring another glass. “Equals. Tell me what happened in that fucking throne room, Kylo, if we’re going to talk about how equal we are. I can’t just waltz into your mind like you do, but I, believe it or not, can tell when you’re lying without magic.” He spat the word, throwing an arm dramatically out as if that proved his point. “What did she do in there that’s got you wrapped around her kriffing finger? And I want the damn truth!” The arm that wasn’t holding Millie slammed into the floor, looking at the Sith furiously, desperately. He wanted the truth to be nothing, he wanted to be comforted, to be told he was wrong. But, drunk as he was, Hux knew that wasn’t going to happen.

Drinking always brought out the worst in people, Ren thought. At least he had seen it in his father and in himself. The way the liquor allowed the worry to creep in, the pull to the light solidifying and pulling back the covers on the vulnerable man that lay underneath. With each insult Ren's shoulders bowed inward, head bowed as he stared at his knees. Hux wasn't lying. He was right. If that had been a possibility, he wouldn't have done those things. But what he didn't understand is that Ren functioned from raw need. Or, at least, what he had mistaken at the time for need. He had to stay off of the alcohol, even if it called to him too, the want for liquid courage summoning him to another glass full that he couldn't take. The one alone had been enough to dull his senses, to further push Ben from his hiding place under the mask. Ben who needed affection and touch and to be wanted and accepted. All of the things he yearned and craved and wanted so badly to receive from someone so cold and cut off. Kylo would've yelled. He would've shouted and thrown things around the room with the sheer energy his anger alone could produce. But not Ben. Ben who would curl in on himself, whose hands were balled into fists as they rested on his thighs, quelling the call of violence. Eyes shut so tightly it caused his expression to twist up, hidden behind the strands of black hair that hung in his face. Hiding him away from the disgusted gaze of Hux, who scorned his shows of emotion. Who detested his existence. Who likely preferred the monstrous mask to the man underneath who felt so broken, unstable without anything, anyone, to hold onto. As Hux mentions the girl, he felt he might combust. All of the ungovernable energy so tightly held in threatened the seams of his very being as he played through the throne room scene in his head, rationalizing each mistake made. If Hux truly wanted an answer, he would give it to him. The truth. The painful answer to his behavior.

Through grit teeth, he spoke, his gaze staying low, "You. You of all people know what it's like to be alone. To feel alone. To have NO ONE." His lips curled inward with self disgust as he held in the pain he had felt. Betrayed. Empty. He and the girl had both had different motives in this. The girl had used him. "Isolated. Desperate. She's the last one like me. I thought better of it at the time." His speech became rapid, impassioned, as he began practically shaking. "I wanted her to join me. To share the throne as the two most powerful beings to exist. Snoke said to fulfill my destiny and my destiny was that damned chair he sat in. It's MINE! And I thought it was her’s, too. She was there. She listened. She made me feel whole. Like I had something! ANYTHING!" He looked up, eyes crazed and glossed over with tears. “Something you can’t afford me. Feelings.” He ran a hand over his face, trying to stop the flow of tears as he continued on his triade. “But she wanted me to go back with her. I didn’t realize that that’s what this was. Some stupid ploy to bring me back to my mother and the resistance and the thing I came here to escape. To destroy. I was fooled.” He brought his fist down on his thigh, punching the flesh in a display of anger aimed at no one but himself. He had been so weakened by his own isolation he had let her get to him, to get into his mind and convince him she was what he needed. “I felt lost. I had no master. I was my own master. I didn’t have the girl. I had nothing. Pryde was powerful. Knowledgeable. It was right at the time to promote him.” He stopped himself there, finally taking a breath. He had said nothing that wasn’t honest. “Is that what you wanted to hear, Hux? That I’m weak?!”

If Hux was a little less drunk, he would've ignored the feeling of guilt in his stomach. He would have steeled himself for some sort of hurt as he could feel Ren's rising emotions, tinging the air around him. He would have screamed for Kylo to open his eyes, to look at him, to stop being such a coward. He would have gotten up and slapped the other silly, consequences be damned, for trying to imply that Armitage was lonely and desperate. And he definitely would have laughed in the Sith's face when he said he deserved the throne. Hux knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Kylo sitting alone on that throne would be the thing that drove the Order into ruin, and if he was a little less drunk, he'd have the balls to tell him that. But instead, Hux just looked down at Millicent, shaking his head. He was glad that he messed up his hair earlier in the day, allowing the ginger strands to somewhat cover the expression on his face. The man had always prided himself on being able to keep a blank mask, but now there was every emotion, written pathetically clearly. The anger, burning in his eyes, the way his mouth was trying not to screw up. The pain, in the trembling of his features, in how he couldn't even look at Ren. Tears, threatening to spill out if he blinked even once. "You hate me." It wasn't a question. It was a statement, small, full of emotion. "You never bothered to look at me. The real me. You didn't want to. You just wanted to find someone desperate enough that they would put up with your bantha shit. Someone who wouldn't fight back when you choked them, when you damn near bashed their brains out." The tears began flowing, but the hurt that was there only moments ago was gone, replaced by pure fury. Millicent hopped up as Armitage forced himself to stand, stumbling somewhat as he did so.

"Why are you always the victim?!" There it was, the yell hitching off in a sob. "When, Ren, is the last time you gave a damn about my feelings?! The only time you ever even asked how I was doing was when you were bitching about me not spreading my legs when I was cleaning up your mess! My whole life, I have given everything to be here, I've worked my entire fucking life, I've done things that I hate myself for, and I am never going to be able to sleep again because of what I've had to survive through to get here!" Hux looked away for a moment, shaking his head and doing his best to hold back the sobs. The alcohol, while originally having reduced Armitage to little more than a sniveling mess, was now bringing out the weeks, the months, the years of anger that had been building up silently behind the man's stony facade. "You came here, everything handed to you. You fucking waltzed in here with the same position as me! Why?! What the hell did you ever do to deserve something like that?! And all of the times you threatened me for not really being loyal was all lies, because the minute some pretty girl comes in here and bats her little eyelashes at you, you say 'Fuck the whole thing,' right? Right?! You even kept the damn scar!"

The anger, as quickly as it had blazed through the ginger, died as he stared at Ren's face. "You kept the scar," he murmured, in the same pathetic tone that he had started talking in to begin with. Armitage moved forward, pushing on Ren's shoulders until the other sat up and looked at him. Gently, with trembling fingers, he reached out, tracing the outline of the scar. "You used to be so pretty. You're still pretty. But I can't look at you without seeing her. And that's what you wanted. You wanted for me not to see you anymore." The tears were flowing faster now, the trembling almost violent as Hux continued to not look at Kylo's eyes, instead only looking at the scar he was touching. "If you didn't hate me, you would've wanted to understand me. You wouldn't have listened to her. Why didn't you ever listen to me? Why wasn't I good enough for you? Why don't you care? I care. I care, but I'm going to have to kill you. And I don't want to, but I can't do it again. I can't be beaten into nothing again. I can't..." Armitage trailed off, weakly straddling Kylo's thighs before beginning to sob into the other's shoulder, clinging onto him desperately. "You're right, I'm alone. I-I-I can't do it, I can't do it, I'm weak, I'm nothing, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Hux would have continued apologising if he could get anything other than strangled sobs out of his throat, his entire body shaking.

Ren hated the way he felt, the twist and turn of his stomach that made him nauseated as Ben broke free from the shell that barely held him. He knew he had angered Hux the moment the word had passed his lips but it was what he had asked for, wasn't it? He had half expected to be laughed at, to be mocked and ridiculed for not being able to hold the mask quite like Hux did. But there were no more masks to be worn between them, at least not for the rest of this cycle. It was too late. Both unhinged and fully vulnerable, the air in the room tense and even more nauseating now. He spared Hux a glance, enough to notice the fury on the other's features, before dropping his head again, refusing to look at the monster he knew he had a hand in creating. "I haven't.. I'm sorry. I didn't." He listened to Hux's rant, deserved and perhaps overdue. What he was saying was true, Ren had never pushed to know him. It wasn't that he hadn't cared to learn the man underneath the neatly pressed uniforms and hair always gelled so perfectly into place. In his own defense, he had been the one to think that Hux hadn't been interested. Always so stern, he had never thought that truly learning the other was an option. But he really hadn't even tried. It was the crying that caused him to look up again, concern drawing his eyebrows together. He hated to see Hux cry. It was truly a rare sight, but it was so painful to watch. To see the carefully put together facade crumble, and all of the powerful emotions come crashing down on Armitage, shaking his lithe frame. His chest swelled with guilt and he desperately wanted to tell him he did care. Fighting with him was truly a futile effort though. They could spend all night yelling at one another or they could both concede, and that's truly what Ren wanted. He would let Hux and scream and fight until he was done. "I'm sorry... Armitage... I'm sorry. You're right. I was handed this. I didn't even know if I wanted it.. I don't know if I want it."

Ren allowed himself to be pushed up by Hux, sitting up and looking at him with tears glazing over his own eyes again. As Hux touched his scar, he gently took his hand and brought it to his lips, pressing soft kisses to pads of each of his fingers before replacing it on his cheek as he looked at him. Pretty? He didn’t know if he had ever been called pretty before. That word didn’t really fit him, not in his mind at least. His scar made him ugly but the gentle compliment made his heart clench. Armitage truly thought he was pretty. He had never wanted the girl in the way he wanted Armitage. In the way he wanted to spend all his time entangled with his beautiful general. “You’re beautiful..” he said softly. He had always been enraptured by Hux’s beauty. His angular cheekbones and the gentlest dusting of freckles on his skin that was only noticeable if you were on top of him. The way he spoke Kylo’s name was often enough to give him goosebumps. He constantly craved to have the ability to slide his hands under his uniform, calloused fingers finding comfort in soft skin… Hux was truly his greatest weakness. As Hux began to sob Kylo placed a hand gently on one of his hips, using his other hand to smooth circles across Armitage’s back, trying to gently coax the sobs from him. “You aren’t nothing. I want. To know you.. Please. Let me know you. I want to love you.” He spoke very gently, his voice quiet as he pressed a soft kiss to Armitage’s cheek. “Please.”

Even as Armitage continued to sob, continued to cling onto Ren like a life raft, he just shook his head at the other's words. "Why won't you ever stop? You never stop. You never stop lying to me!" The man pressed his face into the crook of Kylo's neck, seeking comfort even as he insulted the man. "You don't...don't want to love me. If you did, you wouldn't be like my father!" Such strong emotion couldn't last, not even with the alcohol flowing through his veins. Slowly, the sobs turned to hiccups, dying down into silence. The emotion was completely drained from the man, but he still didn't let go. He couldn't, not if he wanted to. It didn't matter if Ren was genuine or not, if Hux cared or not. He needed something to hold onto, something steady among the whirlwind that was his mind. Even drunk, he knew he had said too much. It's not like he forgot calling it off with Ren. But yet, here he was, wrapped around the other, his tears staining Kylo's weird clothing. The absurd thought caused a tiny smile to cross his face before he sighed. "I'm tired, Kylo." Tired at the moment; his fit leaving him nothing short of exhausted, on top of it already having been a long day. But tired of it all. Tired of being a general. Tired of being a Hux. Tired of being Kylo's...whatever it was they were. Tired of life. He hadn't been lying earlier when he said most nights he couldn't sleep. Most nights were still fitful, dreams of his father still haunting him, even though he enacted his revenge years ago. Most nights, nowadays, had Ren prowling, using the Force to make Armitage feel as powerless as he had while he was a child. He had never been able to sleep his entire life; that caught up with a person eventually. "I can't... I can't do it."

The urge to burst into tears again surged, but there wasn't a tear left in Armitage's body that he hadn't shed already. So instead, he slowly pulled back from the Sith's chest until he was looking into the other's eyes. Another smile crossed his face, this one sharing none of the amusement from the previous one. Instead, this one was bitter, full of sorrow as he reached up, gently tracing the scar across Ren's face once more. "I know how this is going to end, you know. Even if you don't have the foresight to see it. We're going to kill each other. You're going to break me, past the point of fixing. Or I'll snap." Tears Hux didn't know he had pricked at his eyes as he leaned forward, gently pressing a kiss against Kylo's lips. "But I can't leave. And I don't think you can either. Or we would have a long time ago." A small chuckle, as Armitage nuzzled back against the other's chest. One hand moved, sliding from being wrapped around the man to loosely gripping onto the front of Ren's shirt. His words were becoming slurred now, but Hux had something to say, and he'd be damned if he didn't say it. It was one of the most noticeable differences when he was drunk. "We're like...magnets. Or maybe stars. Yeah. Stars. Spinning around each other, dancing through the sky, until we make impact and explode across the galaxy." Armitage sighed again, his grip clutching onto Ren a little tighter. “But until I break, I'll stay. I think I deserve it. To die. Die like this. It's the only way I know how to love, after all." And there it was. The closest that Hux had ever gotten to saying the words 'I love you.' Because, while he tried to hide it, tried to push it down as far as he could, it was still there. Ren was like no one else in his life, now or ever. And it would be how his life ended, too. That, more than anything else, he was sure of.

Armitage's words hit Kylo like a brick, his shoulders beginning again to shrink in on themselves as he pulled the man closer, almost as if he was trying to wrap himself around him. He wondered for a moment if some of those nightmares, the restless nights of unease were his own fault. He was like Hux's father in his violence and a failure like his own. Surely the ill treatment of his partner... Was he allowed that word to describe Armitage? Mimicked the abuse of his childhood. And even worse, Kylo was well aware of the abuse and yet he still hurt him. He was no better than Brendol. No better than Pryde. It made him sick, thoughts dizzying, as he tried to sit with the weight of his own actions. It was Ben who was too weak to stomach such a thing, the idea that his hands that were meant to hold and caress could abuse and injure. Torture. Maybe he had had this all all wrong. He had, really. Love wasn't forcing submission or rivalry. Or maybe what he thought was love, wasn't really anything close to what love should've been. He hadn't had role models in this - his parents always apart, absent, or fighting, tearing him apart. He had never experienced love any different than his feelings for Hux. The intense attraction and almost obsession with the idea of the other that likely was caused by the fact they were so alienated from one another, breeding this desperate want. That same alienation had helped shape the abuse. The idea of the lesser and the still ongoing lies of power and rule that twisted in Kylo's mind drove him to such action of sick self preservation. He had no excuse though. He knew he had none, really. No right to argue with anything Armitage had said. Armitage's language was worrying, this new narrative of their entangled demise was making Kylo anxious. He could never kill Hux, could he? Was he so desperate to reach his position of galactic power that he was willing to kill the only other person he had?

Kylo hadn't realized the amount of tension that had mounted in his expression until he saw that Hux was again close to tears. He sighed, allowing himself to relax a bit as he accepted the kiss. He gently reached up to pet Armitage's hair, stroking loose strands back into their usual place. He looked at Hux, guilt and nausea eating away at him. Not that even hours ago, he was desperate for Hux to stay, to stay in his arms like this, for kisses and gentle brushes to again become normalized in their relationship as though it transcended the Order. As though it really had a chance. But did it? Hux may have been more in tune than anything with the dying star that was the toxic twist of their romance. As fulfilling as Armitage's gentle hint towards love was, softening raw emotions and negative thoughts of his true feelings, it made him really consider what the outcome here would be. The last thing he wanted was for either of them to die, to be the cause of the other's death or pain, regardless of their sordid past. In the next cycle would they go back to how they were? Would these drunken revelations even matter? Did this mean something? There was an idea that slipped into his mind earlier that he wanted to deny. He wouldn't admit that it had been his first thought, knowing how damning it would be. Knowing that the moment he lifted his hand in this action, he would cut all ties. He would be a bastard, a monster, a user. His feelings of care would be disregarded, invalidated by the single most gentle action he could offer... Kylo had remembered something. Despite her absence, Leia had tried to be a presence in Ben's life. There were many diplomatic events he had spent clinging to his mother's leg, days spent writing together... Beautiful images of love he couldn't describe or even dream of emulating. What he remembered most vividly was the pain he felt. The constant nightmares and whispers that plagued his mind. The cold feeling of his mother's hand on his forehead at the end of a difficult cycle, silencing the voices. Calming his mind. Gently soothing him to sleep with the smallest use of the force. He could offer him that same calm. That same feeling of peace and togetherness that had ended his cycles with no tears but the best rest he had ever felt. A gift to the sleepless man whom he loved, who should not have felt similarly. He would give him another moment before he gently put him out of his misery. Sweet and gentle sleep would take him, taking him from Kylo, too. They could not love. Neither were capable of something so fragile, so delicate as love. He would regret this. He already knew the further isolation would create hostile feelings, upset, and anger. But was that not better than death? Then the mess they were so intricately wrapped in?

Armitage didn’t like the silence accompanying his words. He was supposed to be the quiet one out of the pair. The one who looked down at Ren in moments of weakness, not the other way around. Even as the Sith stroked his hair, the general leaning into the touch, he could see it in the other’s eyes. Something was wrong. Hux pulled away from his chest, his unfocused eyes fixing on the pair across from him. A smile, almost foreign in its genuineness, crossed Armitage’s face. His arms unwrapped from around Ren, instead reaching up to cup the other’s face. His thumbs gently brushed against Kylo’s cheek, and Hux’s brow furrowed. “Look at me,” he ordered softly, the slurred words having a teasing tone. “We...we haven’t collided yet. I’m still here. I’m still yours, and you’re still mine. Mine.” The general leaned forward, kissing Kylo’s scar slowly from one end to the other. He rested his forehead against the Sith’s, his arms snaking around the other’s neck, calm and content compared to the raging storm he had only been minutes ago. Drunk as he was, a part of him was sober enough to want to laugh. How obvious it was that he was Ren’s. After everything, today alone, and this is how the cycle ended. The worst part was that it wasn’t even an act. He felt safe, the Force that he was so used to hurting him feeling closer to a blanket. “Kylo-” Before Armitage could continue, the Force suddenly surged over him, his eyes going wide in panic before they rolled back into his head.

—————————————————

There was meowing, somewhere close. “Millie, shut it!” The meowing only continued. There was a paw pressing his face, first lightly, and then with more force. Armitage’s eyes flickered open in annoyance, reaching up and gently swatting the cat away. “What’s your problem?” Millicent’s incessant whining forced the man to wake up, pushing himself into a sitting position and immediately letting out a groan, his head throbbing. Hux glanced over to the clock by his bedside, his eyes widening in alarm. He had slept through the start of his shift, he needed to- Oh. That’s right. He wasn’t working today. He wasn’t working tomorrow, either. New staff. Pryde. Ren. Ren. Armitage glanced around, his brow furrowing. He was a late sleeper, and a deep one. Had he somehow gotten up before Hux? He...had stayed the night, right? The man swung his legs out of bed, sighing as he realised he was still in his uniform from the day before. Damn. “Calm down, Millie, I’m coming.” The cat quieted down the moment Hux gave her her food bowl, to which the other only rolled his eyes. Of course. He quickly took off the outer layer of his uniform, tossing it in his hamper before getting himself a glass of water. What had happened last night? He remembered getting drunk. There was a lot of yelling, lot of crying too. His lip twisted in spite of itself when he remembered that. Then he had been sitting in Ren’s lap, and...something happened.

Armitage took a sip of water, his fingers drumming on the counter. He hadn’t fallen asleep...it was almost like he passed out. But why would he have passed out, unless- Hux’s eyes widened, his grip tightening on the glass. Ren. Ren put him out. That’s how Ren had ‘woken up’ before him; he didn’t sleep here at all. He shut him up and left him passed out like a cheap whore on his own bed. Armitage’s eye twitched before the cup shattered in his hand. “Damn it!” he snapped, taking a step back. The general looked down at his hand, bleeding profusely, a jagged shard of glass sticking out of it. But all he could think of was the amount of times his father had warned him about getting attached to people, warned him about his emotions, warned him that he was too weak for a position of power, that he would let himself get used. Get hurt. The glass took only a minute or so to clean up. Armitage was beyond seething; he was completely numb as he swept up the glass, quickly dumping it in the trash and wiping up the water. This is what he wanted, yesterday, before he had gotten drunk. He wanted Ren out of his life. And he got it. He should be celebrating, that that kriffing idiot finally got a message through his head. But Hux didn’t feel much of anything. He wasn’t going to let himself, not for a while. Because if he let himself feel happy, the rest of the emotions would come pouring in until he was drowning. The pain. The anger. The betrayal. The loneliness.

Armitage went to the bathroom, quickly swiping some bacta on the wound before wrapping it. He wasn’t going to let himself just sit in his quarters all day. As his father said; an idle mind would lead to idle thoughts, and idle thoughts would lead to pointless actions. It would be pointless for him to go barging into the throne room, demanding an explanation for last night’s events. It would be pointless for him to desperately knock on the Sith’s door, pleading for him to take him back. No, this is how things were going to be now. A general and the Supreme Leader. Nothing more. With a grimace, Hux tied off the bandage before wetting his hair, quickly applying some more gel to it. Just because he was distressed didn’t mean he needed to look it. The general quickly put on his combat boots and his aerobics uniform. Before he left, he threw on his greatcoat, grabbed a small silver rod which he put in his pocket, and left. In the halls, every trooper and officer he passed gave him a wide berth. It was a rarity to see Hux looking so....casual. It couldn’t mean anything good. Armitage, however, wasn’t on his way to wreak havoc (unlike some he could mention). Instead, the man stopped outside of a training room, quickly opening it. If he had so much time, he might as well improve his biggest weakness. Not paying attention to the room around him, the general slid off his coat, tossing it in on the floor. Armitage pulled the silver piece of metal from his pocket, giving it a few practiced twirls, and smirking as it unfolded into a dangerously sharp staff. He wasn’t as good with it as he could be, but Phasma had taught him the basics of fighting with her weapons.

Kylo felt sick, stomach turning as he watched Hux, drunk and affectionate. Feeding into everything he had ever wanted, that sickly sweet candy coating that almost sounded devoted, obsessed. Like this could go on forever and they would both allow it. This softer side of Hux pried out by liquor almost led him to change his mind, wanting to inundate him with kisses and soft touches that he so craved to give and receive... However, his mind was made and before he could allow himself to be enraptured in the small joy this bought him, he placed a gentle hand over Armitage's forehead, using the Force to gently silence the turmoil in his mind. He granted him the sleep he claimed had evaded him. He held Armitage's body in his arms, examining his face for a moment as though they wouldn't inevitably bump heads again. It wasn't like Armitage was dead, he reminded himself, but Kylo may as well have been dead to him now. He pressed a soft kiss to Hux's cheek as he stood, lifting Hux bridal style before laying him out onto the bed. He tried to make him comfortable, with pillows under his head and the duvet gently pulled over him. He looked down at his sleeping form, chewing the inside of his cheek. He didn't want to leave him... But he had to. He gently reached down to kiss his forehead, using one last push of the Force to ensure he had pleasant dreams. Dreams of better times... And after that, Kylo left, shutting the door carefully behind himself as he cut off ties with the man he was in love with, silently cursing himself as he walked through the corridor to his own quarters. 

Kylo's sleep that night had been fitful, his dreams full of promises of a future he couldn't have. He woke in the morning full of guilt, restless and empty. Finding himself sitting on the side of his bed with his head in his hands, he debated on skipping any semblance of his duties for the day. He couldn't though. He had to show Hux that he could function and perform his daily duties. But not until he had his chance to release some of the emotions he felt in the training room. After a quick run through the fresher and changing into something that lent itself more towards movement than his usual robes, he summoned his saber to his hand and left his quarters. He moved through the hall with a sense of determination that some might find concerning, an easy way to die considering his saber was in hand and begging to be ignited. He rounded the corridor and entered the training room, turning over the hilt in his hand in anticipation. He was glad to be alone (though a small selfish part of him wished Hux was there to watch...). He found his usual spot in the corner, using the Force to summon and activate a training remote. Some methods of training, despite their origin of introduction to him, were useful. He looked at the floating ball and allowed himself a hint of a wicked smile as he engaged in combat. A quick dodge to the left and he'd avoided the first of the blasts from the orb. He could easily recall the small wounds he had had from one as a child, having stolen his father's own and again when he trained with Luke. There was something fun about how unpredictable it was, when it would blast and how it would move. The rush of nostalgia only seemed to egg on his quick movements, saber ignited and burning red as he deflected blasts and dodged them smoothly, the rare smile tugging at his lips. He continued, moving his way about the room as he tried to create a rhythm, dodge, dodge, deflect, dodge. He spun his lightsaber in his hand, as he waited for the next attack but was disturbed from his thoughts by the send of someone else entering. From his place in the corner, he wasn't directly visible, but he could see who entered in all his brazen glory. Oh, how Ren abhorred that horrible yellow and purple mistake of an outfit. The only good thing about it was the way it hugged Hux's lithe frame, giving him the illusion of hips. Other than providing that, it deserved nothing more than to be shredded or thrown out. It was bright enough to burn the eyes and ugly enough to produce laughter. He found himself staring at the man who had not noticed him. Immediately, the droid took the opportunity and struck him with a blast in his exposed shoulder. Non-lethal didn't mean that it didn't hurt, but having still gone completely unnoticed to Hux, he quickly sliced the droid in two with his saber, suspending the halves in the air with his free hand. The clatter would easily alert him, if the hum of the saber hadn't. As he looked at Hux, he noticed the weapon, chewing his lip to stifle a small laugh. Hux had never been much of a fighter in a physical sense, and seeing him with the weapon in that outfit had seriously piqued Kylo's interest. He found himself a place in the corner of the training room, leaning against the wall as he watched. He would let Hux notice him on his own time, making no show of his presence in the room. He wasn't prepared for the inevitable argument or clash of wills; he simply wanted to watch the other train and then finish his own training. He had actually been having quite a bit of fun with the remote droid before he came in.

Armitage could remember quite clearly what Phasma had taught him. They both knew he wasn't the best at fighting. True, he had spent hours upon hours at the shooting range, dutifully shooting at targets until he was quite a good shot, one of the best out of the officers. But fighting? Hand to hand combat? Brendol never saw his son being able to hold his own if it came down to that, and as such, never bothered to teach him. Phasma, however, had different ideas. She had started him off with the basics, and that was what Armitage was going to start off with today. Hit. Hit hit. Hit hit swipe. Hit hit swipe block. Hit hit swipe block stab. Hit hit swipe block stab double thrust. Hit hit swipe block stab double thrust block. Repeat. The movements were slow at first, leaning on uncoordinated; it had been a while. But steadily, the repeated movements became faster. Once Armitage had started building up his speed, he moved on to the next portion of the exercise. Double thrust block spin. Repeat. Before, he had just been facing one way, but now, Armitage would rapidly switch directions to wherever he felt like going, either twirling the weapon at dangerous speeds or stepping into a new fighting stance with a hit.

Soon, Hux didn’t even have to think about what he was doing. The movements flowed naturally; he looked less like a fighter and more like a dancer, with the most dangerous baton one could ask for. His mind was completely clear, focused on the moment, and a genuine smile was on his face. It felt good, to know that he hadn’t lost all of his skill. True, when he and Phasma were training every day, he had been able to add kicks and shots from his blaster, and actually spar with her instead of just repeating a pattern. But this was still good enough for now. However, Armitage’s happiness was immediately shattered when, mid-twirl, he noticed someone standing in the corner. No, not just anyone. Ren. He was so surprised, the weapon immediately clattered to the floor, causing a fiery blush that almost matched his hair to spread across his face. “Forgive me, Supreme Leader,” he mumbled, bending down and picking up the staff, twirling it until it became hand-sized once more. “I wasn’t aware you were in here.” Hux wanted to ask how long he had been watching. Demand to know why he was being stalked. But...no. He was quite fine with the amount of broken bones he had. The only thing that had even been mildly restraining Kylo before was the fact that they were...well, whatever the hell they were. Now that they weren’t even that, it was unlikely things would start looking up for Armitage. “I’ll just take my leave.”

Ren disengaged his saber as he watched, taken by the fluid movements of Armitage and the staff. He seemed to do well with it, the movements becoming like a sort of dance that Ren didn't want to end. Despite his horrible manner of dress, there was something beautiful in the way he managed to move. He had never been one for strategic fighting but he found himself observing for any vulnerable areas as he watched him, his early Jedi training seeming to come back into focus. Hux had obviously had a good teacher, likely Phasma. He could see bits of her style in the intricate patterns of his movements until- well. Hux finally noticed him. Ren wasn't sure how to react, not after last night and all the things that had transpired between them. Surely Hux was well aware he had delayed the structural announcement, withholding until he was sure this was the right decision. It wasn't that he didn't trust or value what Hux had to say, it was that he had to prove to himself that the decision was smart for the both of them. After seeing Hux in drunk hysterics the cycle before, he wasn't so sure what was good and wasn't anymore. "You're. Forgiven." Ren had to stifle a short laugh at the look of shock on Hux's face, the adorable blush that spread over his cheeks. When he was discovered, he released the remote droid, allowing it to come clattering to the ground, exhausting one last breath of smoke. "You're welcome to stay. You should try fighting with an opponent next time." His comment was short as he bent down to pick up the halves, tossing them into the nearest bin. His comment came off as almost uninterested, but really he was trying to mask his true feelings. He was still hurting, mad at himself and at anyone even remotely close to them. He wanted to pretend their hard conversations hadn't happened, just as Hux had in his drunken state. Kylo rubbed the light burn on his shoulder from the droid as he went to grab another.

They still had one another, they hadn't collided yet... Or had they?

Armitage shifted uncomfortably, a small frown on his face as he glanced away. He wanted to stay; obviously. That’s why he had come there in the first place. But did he want to stay, knowing Ren was in the room? He was far from comfortable showing off his fighting style. But, he was too proud to just be forced out if he wasn’t ordered, too angry to let Ren get his way this time. God knows he already got his way last night, leaving him unconscious on the bed. “Are you asking to spar with me?” Hux twirled the staff again, allowing it to reach its full length, even as he watched the pieces of the droid go into the trash bin. This offer...wouldn’t go that badly, would it? Ren wouldn’t actually kill him...would he? He wasn’t entirely sure. It’s not like he had been expecting what had happened last night, either. He wasn’t particularly sure where the other stood with him. “We both know I’m not as skilled as you, Supreme Leader, if that’s what you’re looking for. And I would rather you not slice my weapon in half to prove a point.” The words were said dryly, even as Armitage looked at Ren with nothing short of suspicion. There had to be some sort of ulterior motive to this. And while he didn’t think that it would be to kill him in this training room, he was beginning to doubt. Maybe Ren just wanted to seriously maim him. Put him out of commission, or make an example of him.

"I wasn't suggesting we spar," Kylo shoot his head as he picked up another remote droid, turning it over in his hand. I have an obvious advantage. He glanced at Hux, face blank but hiding closely behind a mask of something like innocence. "Unless you want to." If they sparred, it was hardly fair for him to use his lightsaber. It would slice through the staff and Hux with ease. If Armitage really wanted to try though, he would find a way to make it slightly more fair, whether that meant fighting without a weapon or getting a little creative with his fighting style. After making his offer, Ren turned, clicking on the droid and allowing it to find its place in the air, ready for a fight. He turned back to look at Hux, "I'll stay out of your way, General." Igniting his saber, he again engaged with the orb, this time blocking it's blasts with ease and almost disinterest. At times, this was too easy. Really, he was showing off. He wanted Hux to see his power in a way that wasn't aimed at him, non-threatening with no mark of intimation, just simple maneuvers, a dodge here and a block and a swipe that narrowly misses because what's the fun in killing your prey so early on? He twirled the saber like it was weightless, rolling his neck as he waited for the next spontaneous movement. Maybe this display would annoy Hux enough to encourage him to want to spar. Either way, Kylo was content to fight with the orb until he got bored and crushed it again. They were inexpensive, at least.

Hux wished he couldn’t read Ren so easily. Read the challenge that was so blatantly being offered to him. His mouth screwed up, looking down at the staff that he began to absent-mindedly twirl in his fingers. He wasn’t stupid enough to accept this. To get goaded into this. He wasn’t suicidal. But there was a tiny part of him that wanted to prove something. To prove he was a force to be reckoned with, not just a doll to throw around and abandon whenever he was too inconvenient. The droid starting up again caused Armitage’s eyes to narrow. He wanted to spit out that he had seen the Sith rubbing his shoulder, most likely meaning he had missed a shot. That they were little more than children’s toys, that he could probably do something similar with a little practice. But he kept his mouth shut, looking back at his staff. That wasn’t going to hold up against a lightsaber. But...they were in a training room, after all. Hux glanced up, spinning the staff until it was hand-sized again before walking over to the cabinet in the corner of the room. Ah. Perfect. Armitage pulled out two wooden staffs, twirling one experimentally with a smirk on his face. Now this was more like it. “If you would care to indulge me, Supreme Leader,” Hux said dryly, walking back over to Kylo and offering out one of the staffs. “I think this would be a more...reasonable weapon than your lightsaber.” Ren still had the Force on his side, but there wasn’t much the general could hope to do about that. If he was lucky, Ren would play fair and not throw him around, but...maybe he’d get a few good hits in before that. The smirk only widened on Armitage’s face.

Ren couldn't help the smile that spread on his face when he knew he had hooked him, his hand raised towards the droid, balling his hand into a fist. As he did so, the droid crumpled in on itself, now reduced to a small ball of crushed metal that came clattering to the floor just as the one before it. Another blatant display of power, ability, maybe a bit of a tease, a warning. If Hux would really go through with this, did he know exactly what he was up against? What Ren lacked in strategy, he certainly made up for in ability. His control of the Force wasn't the most tailored, but he had an excess of entanglement within it. He couldn't help how deeply he was imbued with it, having the ability to pick up on thoughts unintentionally and easily levitate objects without trying to do so. In a past life, this excess had been what had scared people away. Friends, lovers, maybe even his own parents. People who didn't understand. Hux didn't understand either, it was obvious. "It's similar." He held back a grin at the sight of the wooden staff that wasn't unfamiliar to Kylo; flashbacks of early training flooding his mind as he accepted it, tossing it in between hands. He wasn't sure how he'd approach this; would he really spar with him? It seemed like a bad idea, like Hux would easily be injured, especially considering his pre-existing condition. Taking it easy on him would also likely infuriate the ginger. He looked at the staff before looking to Hux and giving a solid nod. "Whenever you're ready, General."

Hux resisted the urge to comment that Ren could easily turn off the droid, that they did in fact cost credits, but resisted himself. If Ren wasn't the Supreme Leader, he certainly would have. But now, he supposed the Sith had the authority to put all of their funds towards the purchasing of these things. His eyes rested on its position on the floor for a moment, forcing his face to stay blank. Kylo wouldn't. He was just trying to scare him. As the other took the staff, Armitage took a step back, eyeing Ren carefully as he spun his staff experimentally, getting the feel for it. The other was taller and stronger than he was; that much was obvious. But Hux had seen how Ren preferred to fight; all brute strength, and very little tact. No one else had a lightsaber he was dueling with, he didn't need to know how to spar; maybe that's how the untrained scavenger beat him so easily. The thought caused a tiny smirk to flicker across the general's face. He was the strategist here, and he knew exactly what he needed to do. Stay on his feet and move quickly. Small blows, wearing Ren down and making him frustrated. Careless. And then crack the damn thing over his head. Hux positioned himself into a fighting stance, his eyes flickering across the Sith's form. Sloppy. He could tell by the expression on the other's face that he wasn't really taking Armitage seriously. Hopefully, that was a mistake, and not an accurate portrayal of how this was about to go. Yes, he knew how Ren fought. But he hadn't been the one fighting him, ever. Experimentally, Armitage swiped at the other before moving back into a defensive stance, waiting.

Ren was about to let this man beat him with a wooden staff and not do anything about it. He had remembered the few times he had been made an example to the other students. The skills of a supposed prodigy that he was supposed to possess didn't always show, especially as he stood embarrassed and defeated in front of a group of children he found no community in. It seemed unintelligent to allow Hux to put him in the same situations that helped lead him here; that drew him down a path of darkness unimaginable. But there was some sense of responsibility in it. They were unevenly matched, and Hux had never really had the upper hand. Snoke hadn't favored him, Snoke had likely expected him to kill Hux at some point - an act of loyalty and growth. The first time the previous Supreme Leader had discovered their entanglements, he was sure that in that moment he would be commanded to draw his saber against Hux. In that moment, standing before their leader and desperate to show his allegiance to his rightful throne, he would've done it. He would've killed Hux with a small reserve of remorse he would only feel when he was alone. Looking at Hux now, who looked primed to kill, despite the simplicity of their weapons, he felt guilt. Guilt over driving him to this point and even more guilt over the wounds that he could so easily inflict if he truly fought back. Ren had an idea then. A stupid one, and almost less productive than standing still and allowing Hux to beat the ever-loving hell out of him. He would wait and pull the staff from Hux's hands. What would that accomplish? He wasn't sure. Maybe Hux would be frustrated and attack him with fists. Maybe he would leave in his rage. Ren wasn't sure, but he wouldn't strike him. He couldn't strike him. Not now. Not again.

A small frown crossed Armitage's face. Ren wasn't reacting. Why the hell wasn't he doing anything? It had to be to goad him on. Get him worked up. The man narrowed his eyes, glaring at the other. Maybe it was to get it to look like an assault. Frame it so that Hux had attacked him, and then Kylo had to kill him in self defense. Yeah, that was it. The general waited for a moment, but still the Sith wasn't making a single offensive move. With a small growl of irritation, Armitage swiped towards the other's head, hard. Smack. The ginger could already feel the heat rising to his face as he laid sprawled on the floor. He was a fucking idiot. Mid swing, Kylo had grabbed his staff and pulled upwards. That didn't stop Hux's momentum however, and with an expression of surprise, he had landed face first on the cold tile. Damn it. Armitage pushed himself to his feet, his fists immediately rising into a fighting stance. Now Ren had two staffs, and Hux only had his fists. He knew he should go, bite the bullet and walk out of the training room with his tail between his legs. But he didn't want to fight another day, he wanted to fight now. The only thing he could see as Ren looked at him with those stupid big eyes and those stupid pouty lips was how his face looked almost blank before he forced Hux into unconsciousness. To think, through all the time they had known each other, Armitage had never been able to get Ren to control his emotions. And the one time he did was to shut Hux up for good. His face no longer burning and his eyes filled with anger, Hux foolishly went on the offense. This is why he hated Ren. That Sith always made the emotionless general feel, feel so much that he could get lost in his emotions. It was dangerous; it was how the situation had gotten this bad. But right now, Armitage didn't care. The only thing he wanted was to feel Ren's skin under his knuckles, hear a crack as he made impact, and see blood or bruises spring up.

Ren hadn't meant to make Armitage fall, blame it on lack of strategy, but he really hadn't wanted to land the general on the floor. He could see how Armitage had been mistaken of his intent, the fringes of his mind that Ren could pick up on without digging, like gentle whispers in his head told him that Hux thought this was a ploy to kill him. He made a show of dropping the staffs, casting them aside and biting back the want to offer help. He wanted to extend a hand to him, to give him leverage, anything to apologize for embarrassing him. But nothing he could do would be accepted, just as no efforts he made would be received in a way that showed any promise at the situation lightening. No, he could tell from the look on Hux's face that he had made this infinitely worse for himself. He supposed the hit of hands was more deserved though as Hux's body so easily held the imprints of his. The feeling of a fist connecting with his cheek was enough to generate a full shock to his system. The emotionless mask now purged from his system, he licked his lips as he thoughtlessly reached forward. His hand found itself placed against the Armitage's forehead, the action once used as a gentle touch was now more pointed, a weapon. The nostalgia of the training room had been enough to jog his memories of a simpler time and so he could supply Hux's mind with similar memories. Memories of two men who were lost and found a moment of comfort in a place that seemed more cruel than first imagined. When allegiances were not linked to a title or an organization but between swollen lips that had been caught between teeth as hands of inexperience tried to find stability in flesh, nails digging rivets and bruises blossoming like brands. A time seemingly forgotten now as the two men had been trapped under a hard exterior and beaten of their innocence. Maybe that's what they were then; innocent.

As his fist hit Ren's face, Hux couldn't help the dark smirk that crossed his face. Finally, a damn win. The satisfaction however, was short lived. Armitage's eyes widened in horror as the hand came towards his forehead. This was the one thing that he could never be better at. His father had been desperate for him to be Force-something, had tried for years to get Armitage to feel anything, but it never worked. He used to look down on such magical abilities with disdain, but since Kylo became Supreme Leader, he looked on them with nothing short of fear. He didn't have time to cry out, to step back, to push Kylo away, before the training room was gone. Memories that he hadn't thought about in a long time flashed before his mind, memories that were so far from today's Kylo Ren that Hux had almost completely forgotten they existed. Getting the order from Snoke, the leader that he never had any conversation with, ordering him to go to Ahch-To. There, he picked up a group of Fallen Jedi, as young as he was, but much more afraid. He remembered their leader; a man, taller than him, with big eyes that only pointed to the ground and trembling lips, on the verge of tears and covered in soot. He might have been crying, but his hair hid his face.

Fast forward to almost arriving on the Supremacy. Having watched the group with curiosity, but especially the leader. He had asked once for a name, but hadn't really gotten an answer, just something mumbled about not wanting to say. And he remembered the few hours before they arrived. The leader had come to his quarters, unexpected and unannounced, but Armitage didn't protest. He let him press him against the wall, losing himself in desperate touches and clumsy kisses, the man who's name he didn't even know whispering silly things. There was something almost pure about it, no politics behind the action, like Hux's other engagements had been. No ulterior motive. Just something that could make him feel again. And then the strange group was gone. They were dropped off at the Supremacy, and Snoke's ship quickly left for some unknown corner of the galaxy. Armitage didn't think much about the night afterwards, him and Phasma turning their attentions to Brendol Hux. But now, feeling Ren pushing those memories to the forefront of his mind; to think that had been the Sith the entire time. To think that had likely been the first time Kylo had had someone touch him like that, coming from the Jedi Order. He had taken the man's virginity, and he didn't even know it was him. Hadn’t even recognised him all those years later. Hux's hands finally made contact with Ren's chest, and he pushed him away, the vision suddenly stopping as Armitage forced himself back into the real world. His chest was heaving, and he stared at the Sith, the Supreme Leader, across from him, silent. "Did you know? When you saw me again, that it was me?" There was a slight tremble to the words, and Armitage's hands were still tightly clenched into fists. As if he expected the moment to shatter at a notice, for Kylo to charge him with accusations.

As the memories played through his own head, Ren found himself wanting to go back to that time, which now seemed so much simpler than it did in the moment. When he had first seen Hux, he was taken by his appearance. What was now so sharp and stern, lips twisted into a permanent scowl, had been lighter then. Maybe his own expression and the way he carried himself had been lighter too. He felt freed and destroyed at the same time, wrapped in such complex emotions as he was taken to the Order for the first time. He remembered leaving, the memory of his night burned into his brain. And in detail, the day they’d seen each other again, a short glimpse and then side by side in front of the Supreme Leader. Now introduced as enemies. Both of them hardly recognizable. Though he never spoke on it, Kylo had battle scars of his own, both mental and psychical from his training with Snoke. Things unspeakable and weaknesses he wouldn't discuss with anyone, not even Hux, whom he had told many things of his past. He wondered if in their first time together after, Hux had noticed the scars. Scars that hadn't been there before. Had he looked at them as marks of weakness? Maybe he understood more than he let on about Ren's time with Snoke. It had never been made very apparent. He dropped his hand to his side as he was shoved away, the memories fading again but still somehow fresh in his mind, a sudden wound reopening. He knew it was the same for Hux, too.

"I knew." He started softly, his resonance deep, seeming to swell in the room with a sense of almost eerie calm. He stepped forward, one hand gently finding the small of Hux's back, his fingers hovering over the area, giving Hux a way out. Intimate and close, he moved so they were almost chest to chest. A position of familiarity, a closeness Kylo craved. He wanted to close the gaps between them, so their bodies seamlessly met in the middle, melting together. "You looked. Different,” he reflected, but still beautiful. There was something about physicality, the connection of skin to skin or feeling of gentle breath that made him feel at ease. As though the voices in his head had ceased their argument over what was good and what was not and settled on the person he was with. The only person he had ever really been with was Hux. He hadn't realized it up to that point, but that explained a part of his attachment to the other. Not by love or loneliness but by the sins held between them in his most vulnerable moment. He had released the pain and anger, the frustration and fear and sadness into Armitage's tender skin. He remembered seeing the marks afterwards, the indent of teeth on a shoulder, the bruises on hips and the scratch marks on his one back, tattoos that bound them. He craved to have that same connection, something that ran so deep as to extinguish the affliction of this Order. The same juvenile innocence of trust and unknowing of what was to come for the both of them. Two lost souls, enraptured in one another. A single night of carnal release had led him to this moment, looking down at Hux with desperation in his eyes and a hand on a slender waist, drawing him in. Back to a place of safety, understanding. In ignorance, they had found one another and still in ignorance they were drawn together so close.

Armitage's shoulders slumped, and he looked away as he listened to the response. How had he been so foolish as not to know? How had he never realised? It all made sense now. The Knights of Ren, those quiet ones trailing behind their leader. And their leader...those too big eyes staring at him this very moment. 'You used to be so pretty.' There was a reason why he hadn't recognised Kylo as Ben. Ben was innocent, youthful. Almost no scars, either mental or physical. Vulnerable. And now, there was something darker tinging his soul, changing him both inside and out. "I didn't know." The words were quiet as he looked up at the other, lips pressed together. "If I had realised...things would have been different." 'I would have known better. I would have known not to trust you. That you had been permanently changed, and it was too dangerous to deal with you.' But he hadn't known. And so they were here. The general glanced over to the arm wrapped around him, tensing slightly. Waiting for the gentle fingertips to wrap around his shirt and whip him into the wall. But it never came. Perhaps it was ignorance that had led Armitage to accept Ben into his bed. Ignorance that had him fall for Kylo. But he had learnt his lesson. He wasn't ignorant anymore. "I'm sorry for hitting you, Supreme Leader," he said quietly, shaking his head and moving backwards, pulling himself from the Sith's gentle hold. The memories of last night were fresh. This was just another way Ren was trying to manipulate him. Kylo had to know by now that Hux was easily manipulated into doing anything. If he hadn't, the general would have left him a long time ago. But he still stayed. Not anymore.

He couldn't do this again. Couldn't let himself be convinced that what had happened last night was his fault. Couldn't let himself be so desperate for Ren's attention that he let himself be treated by dirt every day for just a few moments of affection every few nights. "I should let you return to training. I believe I've taken enough of your time." Armitage bowed, his face a perfect mask of blankness as he straightened, walking over to his great coat and putting it on. "I would ask that you once again consider my request to go to the Outer Rim." For a moment, Hux paused, not wanting to leave just yet. To try and explain himself. But what was the purpose of that? Ren didn't explain himself when he left last night. And Hux didn't need to make a fool of himself. He had already done enough of that already. With a swallow and a polite incline of his head, Armitage turned away, the mask slipping enough that the hurt in his eyes showed clearly.

————————------

The shot rang out, hitting Armitage square in the chest and causing him to slide across the floor of the bridge, blood already spilling. He didn’t even have time to cry out as his head cracked against the tile. Faintly, he heard Pryde’s call to get the Supreme Leader, and if the general had the strength to laugh, he would have. 

If he had only reached out to Ren, maybe none of this would have happened. The day that he had left the training room, an announcement had popped up on all the pads of the Supreme Council members. A group of the ships was going to be stationed in the Outer Rim, attempting to continue the search for the Resistance while the core of the Order stayed here, solidifying their place in the galaxy. And he was going to be the one leading the search. He should’ve been happy. Overjoyed. It’s what he had wanted, after all. But he didn’t feel happy. He didn’t feel anything. 

That night, Hux hadn’t slept, waiting for his quarters’ door to open and a familiar figure to enter, full of apologies that the general would hate himself for believing. Waiting for a night of rough kisses in the darkness, only illuminated by the distant stars that could be seen from his window. But, the door never opened. Kylo never came. 

Kylo didn’t come to see him off, either. Armitage had milled around the hangar of the Supremacy as long as he could conceivably find excuses to stay, waiting for their Supreme Leader to appear and pull him away, showing him teary eyes as Ren begged him to stay. But there was only so long Hux could wait without making a fool of himself, and eventually he had to press his lips together and walk onto his shuttle, taking him back to the Finaliser. 

His old ship wasn’t the same without the destructive force that used to prowl her halls. Sure, it ran much more smoothly, efficiency levels that had been impossible to achieve when Ren was destroying as many as five consoles a week. But Armitage felt...empty. He kept waiting, waiting for his pad to light up with a message from Ren. An apology, an explanation, a barbed insult. Anything but the silence. As the cycles stretched on, however, the general got the message. There wasn’t going to be a message. He had been right; the Kylo he had known was gone. A self-fulfilling prophecy. 

But he didn’t shed any tears. No, Hux turned the shattering of his heart into anger, burning hotter than a sun. If Ren wanted to play that game, so be it. But, Armitage had learned his lesson in the training room. It was impossible for him to take on the Sith head-to-head. The only person who could possibly defeat Kylo would be that stupid scavenger. 

Once the general realised that, everything else just fell together. If he wanted her to infiltrate the Order, to take Ren out, someone had to tell her the plans. Convey where the Supremacy was, where it was going. The only people who knew such information would be part of the Supreme Council, and he couldn’t trust any of them not to turn him in to Kylo. No, if Armitage wanted this done, he would have to do it himself. 

And this is where it had gotten him. Staring up at the ceiling of the bridge as a warm fuzziness spread through him from where his chest once was. If only he had reached out. If only he had been the bigger man. If only-

Systems away, flying towards Kef Bir, Kylo let out a hiss of pain, a hand reaching up to his chest as a sharp burning coursed through him. What? He didn’t have time to think about it, the hologram of an officer flickering to life on his console. “Supreme Leader, Allegiant General Pryde has executed General Hux. He says Hux was the spy we had been looking for. Orders, sir?”

The hand that had been resting over his chest tightened into the fabric of his tunic. “Orders, sir?” “Burn it all.” “Sir?” “I don’t want a trace of that traitor on the ship. Burn everything, you understand?” “Yes, sir. Supremacy out.” As the hologram flickered away, Kylo let out a scream, slamming his fist into the side of his ship. Just like he had when he had gotten into the fight with Hux. Just like- No. No. He had made up his mind when the general had walked away from him yet again that day in the training room. He wasn’t going to be a lost puppy anymore. He was the Supreme Leader of the First Order. He wasn’t going to waste his time attempting to win the heart of the most emotionless man he knew. At least, that’s what he had told himself. The tears currently streaming down his face as he clenched at his chest told a different story. 

But, he didn’t have time for this. A series of beeps from his console alerted him that Kef Bir was close. Rey was there; he could feel her. Feel her so full of light, of emotion, compared to the tightly controlled grey bundle Armitage had been. He needed to focus. Focus. The tears were hastily wiped away, the burning in his chest fading as Hux’s life force flickered into nothing light years away. He knew what it meant. It was what was best for him. It’s what he had wanted, for Armitage to be gone. Just, not like this. 

Back on the Supremacy, the droids working below decks had already been informed. A body was to be collected from the bridge, and quarters were to be cleaned out. Two droids were sent whirring to Hux’s quarters. If Armitage was there, he might have recognised them as the ones who had cleaned out Phasma’s quarters. But no one else the droids passed as they rolled through the halls made the comparison. No one commented as the two droids entered the general’s quarters. Word spread fast aboard the Supremacy; everyone already knew exactly what it meant. 

If either of the droids had much of a personality chip, they might have commented to each other about the sight outside of the general’s window. Two stars, burning brightly for a moment, before flickering into nothing. As it was, they said nothing, one picking up the faded photograph of Hux and Ren left on the desk before placing it in a pile for the incinerator. The stars that had watched the pair rise and fall had died. 

The droids moved all of Hux’s belongings to the incinerator, piling them around the general’s cold body before shutting the door. A momentary roaring noise before the door to space opened, a small string of ashes floating out of the ship. No one grieved. No one even noticed as they drifted away, towards what had once been two beacons of light in the distance. The stars had collided, and it had killed them both.


End file.
